Off The Map with Ryan Green

Better Late Than Never

2005-12-19T13:59:00.000-06:00

OKay, I know I'm a little late with this, but here is a list of things I'd like to receive for Christmas this year! Yes, I know some of them are a little... what would you call it... over the top??? ...but I still believe that there are some generous people out there with large amounts of money burning holes in their pockets ;) With that in mind, here we go!

I'd like a set of abalone bronze bridge pins for my Takamine Koa.
Since I've been working the bass a lot lately, I could really use a Monster bass cable.
Along those same lines, I'd also like a new bass!
I am still an acoustic guitarist at heart, so I'd really like a
21 foot Monster acoustic cable. This would go really well with a new acoustic amp!
I would really like an acoustic processor or an acoustic effects pedal.
Of course, if I get an amp and a cable and a processor, I'll need a pedal board.
Of course, I can always use things like cable ties, strings, and Jim Dunlop .6mm Nylon guitar picks.
For those of you who are filthy stinkin' rich, I wouldn't complain if you got me a new acoustic guitar, an electric guitar, or maybe just a new toy!

Non music related things would be the new Shell Silverstein book, Runny Rabbit or the DVD box sets for 24 Seasons2, 3 or 4.

Well, thats all I can think of right now, but hopefull that will make life a little easier for those 'las minute Santas' out there!

Merry Christmas!

(yes, I said 'Merry Christmas' instead of Happy Holidays... sue me Scrooge)

It's been a Long December but there's reason to believe maybe next year will be better than the last...

2005-12-16T12:53:00.000-06:00

The cold has set in here in central Illinois. It's snowed a couple times, including last night while I was changing out a flat tire (which is another story all together) and it looks like winter is going to be here for a while. super. It happens to me every year about this time, I get in this mood where all I want to do is hide in the dim lamp with a blanket, a big mug of coffee and read a book. Oh, and I also like to listen to depressing music. Right now I've got my "Coffee Drinking" playlist pulled up and it's somewhere in the middle of Alanis Morrissette's new acoustic album... a few minutes ago I had Long December by the Counting Crows on repeat for about 12 times through... that's such a good song. I'm pretty happy because I think Norah Jones is up next :)
I'm getting very frustrated/disappointed at the world right now. I've been looking for a job since August when I became the latest in a long line of ministers to get the shaft for being a little too much fresh fire for a church to handle and it's getting really discouraging... The common response I get at the end of almost every interview I've had is that I'm "over qualified". Let this be a lesson to all Bible college students out there... if you ever need to get a non-ministry focused job, you won't be able to. Bible college degrees are completely useless... what you learn is priceless, but the degree is trash. I even went to the local temp agency and I was told to "maybe check back later in January"... in the meantime I'm out of money and my patience and trust in whatever plan God is working out right now is getting pulled pretty thin...
I have never actually liked those stupid motivational posters you see in office cubicals and waiting rooms, but I saw one yesterday that actually hit me... it said "A ship in the harbor is safe, but that isn't what ships are made for." and immediately I thought "...oh great". Most likely God does indeed have a plan, He does indeed have a purpose for everything I've been experiencing, amd more than likely it will get worse before it gets better... if it ever does, and I realized that this is what I was made for... to chase after God with all I've got no matter how rough, discouraging, frustrating, painful or irritating it may be. It was easy to say that I trusted God to carry me through when the bank account was full, but once it's emptied out and there is nothing left to fall back on it's a bit harder to sound so confident...
It would be easier, I think, if this situation were my own fault because then I could blame myself, instead it is 100% completely the doing of someone else who I now have to struggle through my humanity to forgive and pray for. It's so hard to follow when it's the followers who always have the hardest path to walk. It would be so much easier to stop following and be able to sit back and have a nice peaceful life with no troubles, no adversity... but I still think Mr. Curtice was right when he said that if you aren't being challenged then Satan must not consider you much of a threat... ...says a lot about idle Christianity...
Well, I guess I've rambled on enough about that for now... Damien Rice is now up on the playlist and I've got to go look for some employment.
later kids.

Not So Missing As Everyone Thought...

2005-12-13T10:04:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm back from my blogging sabatical. Family Video decided to stop providing internet service and transfered all of their accounts (mine included) to Earthlink, which is ten kinds of lame and so we've been trying to find something else. As of now, it looks like PeoplePC is gonna do the trick although I'm not a fan of it's pop up blocker since my blog comments appear in pop up windows, but I guess I'll manage.

A lot has been going on since my last post, but I'm not going to waste time trying to fill you in because none of you really care anyway. The big news is that I'm back! HAHA!

I know this isn't much of a post for being the first one after my missingness, but at least it's about par for the course... I'm gonna go because I'm hungry and I've got stuff to do. By the way, the little drawing of the beach is just to make everyone happy :)

Later

Floors

2005-12-01T11:37:00.000-06:00

Hospital floors are cold.

Clean, but cold.

Then again, maybe the cold feeling has nothing to do with the floors afterall, maybe it's just the situation, the twist of life that causes you to end up sitting on the floor.

It's strange how a day can turn out so differently than you expect when you roll out of bed...

I spent much of the day yesterday staring at the floor, I mean, there isn't much else you can do... I guess maybe it was a bit of shock... seeing my dad buckled over in a folding chair, crying, squeezing the had of his dad, lying on his back fighting for every breath... ...a man fights his way through so much in life, only to end up a victim of someone's carelessness... as much as I ever looked up to my dad, there was something even greater about my grandpa, something that, through the eyes of a little boy, makes him seem invincible, I mean, he's dad's dad... something that never lets you picture this situation, let alone be ready for it... but there isn't anything you can do when it happens... except feel completely helpless and stare at the floor...

my grandpa died last night. ...stupid car accident... there is a lot to be said, but at the same time, none of it seems to matter...

To whoever reads this, please pray (if you're one of the few out there who still believe in that sort of thing)! Pray for my Dad, his brother and sisters, for my family, please pray for that poor girl who wasn't paying attention and has this cloud hanging over her today, pray that some in my family can find the grace to forgive her... also pray for the ones you love, you never know how the day will turn out.

Please drive safely.

So many miles behind and still I drive with the pedal down...

2005-11-29T00:24:00.000-06:00

It seems like I only post on here when I have some sort of misadventure or a weekend to summarize for you all, as if anyone out there actually cares... Well, in keeping with that tradition...

I had a great weekend! Thanksgiving was good, My dads side of the family came over for the day and we ate untill we were all about to explode. It was fun except for the masses of screaming children between myself and the television. Once they all went home however, I settled in with a nice big piece of pie and a movie.
Friday morning Kristi drove down from Des Moines and we had a good weekend. We spent a lot of time just relaxing. We went out for Mexican, played some board games, and watched my parents put up the Christmas lights. We were at my house when Kristi happened to spot the first mouse of the season run down into the stove... this caused her to scream in a way that only dogs could hear and made my eardrum actually start to bleed. I've now got traps set up to see if I can stop the winter invasion before it really starts. I went with some live traps instead of the traditional death machines because I didn't want to risk letting a wounded mouse crawl down into the stove and die. I'll keep you posted on that.
Sunday at church I got to rock the house on bass guitar. It was actually a pretty boring set as far as playing the bass goes, but it was still a lotta fun.
Anyway, that was pretty much my weekend, nothing too exciting to report.
Later Crocodiles.

The Fear of Wood and Steel

2005-11-22T02:28:00.000-06:00

I remember it quite clearly, I was sitting on a stage, behind a curtain, in the dark. I was holding my old guitar and strumming through some old worship songs when I told God that my guitar was His... not just the wood and steel, but myself, everything I could do with a voice and six strings. Since that night I have been afraid of my guitar. Not in the sense that a child is afraid of the dark, but a respect, a fear, a feeling of standing in the shadow of something bigger than myself. I remember the first time my dad let me mow the grass by myself and I remember my fear of the lawnmower... same thing. As soon as I told God that my guitar was His I knew that He had taken it, and I also knew that I had gotten in way over my head. This was just over six years ago and since then I have been absolutely amazed at the ways God has let me serve Him with my guitar, none of which were opportunities I deserved or were qualified for, but that seems to be the way God chooses to use us most, in those situations where we could not possibly come out on top without His help. Through these opportunities I've met some of my best friends in the world, experienced some of the most awesome (and most humbling) moments in my short life and learned volumes about what it means to worship. When I lost my job I was actually told that it was for my own good, so I could chase after a ministry involving more of my guitar... if that were true or not I have been amazed at how many times God has put us (my guitar and I) to work since moving home... as soon as I arrived I started playing for FUEL at The Crossing, I've played a couple times with my good friend Nate, for MPCC with at least two more dates already scheduled, and an awesome opportunity with CIY this summer, none of which do I deserve and none of which do I feel qualified to be part of... who am I that God would allow me to lead His people in worship? Who am I that God would put this instrument in my hands, sit back and listen to my feeble attempts to play for Him? Who am I? I don't deserve this. Like my good friend Scott said in a song he wrote "I don't deserve to be your slave, so much less your child".
I live in fear of my guitar because it is the way God has given me to serve Him, and the responsibility is almost too much for me to handle... scratch that, it is so much more than I can handle, yet somehow God gives me grace enough to stand and carry on... and I know that it is only by the grace of God because I know it isn't any ability of my own that lets me lead worship... and if the day ever comes that I have no fear, that is the day I put the guitar away for good because it means I have lost sight of what it is to worship and I have led myself to believe that I am able, that I can do it on my own, that I don't need Gods help any more.
I hope and pray that every time I open the latch on the case I become more terrified than the time before and that God continues to put me in situations beyond my ability, beyond my understanding, so that I can always know for absolutely certain that I need Him, that I cannot live without Him, that I can't even understand the extent of my weakness any more than I can wrap my mind around the extent of His strength. ...God is terrifying, I'm in over my head, and I absolutely love it!

My Weekend at a Glance

2005-11-20T13:36:00.000-06:00

Yes, this post has been revised, basically because I clicked on the wrong thing in my Blogger dashboard and my computer is so slow it wasn't worth the trouble to go back and make a new post. Anyway, friday and saturday I was at ICTC, better than last year by far, but not exactly life changing...

there was a whole lot more here, but I couldn't figure out how to say what I was thinking... I'll post it later.

Velvet Elvis...hmmm

2005-11-15T22:49:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I'm trying to read Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell...
I havn't been doing a very good job at getting through it, but I'm trying. I've finished the first movement of the book and I have to say... I know everyone is worshiping him right now because of those NOOMA videos and everything, but I havn't been all that impressed with this book... I think his basic premis is right on, but I also think he's walking a very dangerous line with most of his points and the ways he backs them up. I'll keep reading and I hope he redeems himself, but so far I wouldn't ever recomend this book to anyone who didn't have a solid Biblical education behind them.
If anyone out there is reading this or has read it, let me know, it would make for some interesting discussions!

2005-11-13T21:32:00.000-06:00

Here is a picture of Hollister helping my mom decorate for Halloween... I wanted to carve that giant pumpkin and take a picture of him peeking out of the top, but this one worked just as well.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Green Screen

2005-11-12T20:30:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I just rented Star Wars Episode III, and I just wanted to say that I'm going to rank it in the top three stupidest movies of all time! Ironically the other two would in fact be Star Wars Episodes I and II. I cannot believe we actually let them defile such an awesome story with these cheap pieces of special effects poop. Combined with some spectacularly pitiful acting these three cinematic blunders look like something you'd find at the end of a nintendo game, not in a theatre. The only bright side was my man Sam Jackson, bringing a touch of Shaft to the set of this otherwise bland cartoon. I must say I wasn't really disappointed, because I didn't really expect anything different from Episode III than we saw in I and II, but deep down inside there was a splinter of hope that there would have been someone working someplace in the production process that would have realized what was going on and done something to salvage what was left of Star Wars. I have an autographed photo of George Lucas, which now sports a curly mustache and devil horns... he let me down, he let us all down. I'm ashamed to admit I spent $2.50 to rent this 150 minute blooper, but thankfully I didn't make the mistake of seeing it at the theatre.
I'm not going to list what was wrong with the movie, or the two previous, becuase if you watch it you can see for yourself... it's like one of those "what's wrong with this picture" things in Highlights magazine... it's just too easy to bother with.

As far as I'm concerned, Episodes I, II and III were never made, they're still just books.

Won't You Help Me Sing These Songs of Freedom?

2005-11-12T14:18:00.000-06:00

The "random" button is perhaps the greatest technological advancement of the 21st century... it's hard to say for sure since we will have to wait another 94.2 years to see if science can come up with something better, but my money is already down. WinAmp was doing a marvelous job at taking me through my usual assortment of "autumn" classics, stuff like Jars of Clay's Much Afraid, Chris Rice's Deep Enough to Dream, Caedmon's Call's 40 Acres, etc etc, all stuff that in some way, for some reason, has made me fall in love with this time of the year... a slip of the mouse however, sent the playlist spiraling out of controll and landing on one of the most un-autumn tracks ever recorded, Jack Johnson performing Jimmy Buffet's Pirate Looks Back at 40... this was followed by Jack and Ben Harper performing Bob Marley's High Tide Low Tide and Bob himself preforming Kaya, Redemption Song and No Woman No Cry...
My entire musical appetite has changed! I put away my beautiful Takamine Koa and exchanged it for my old, beat up, barely playable Lotus classical that was in some way stolen from the Quincy Public School Music program over a decade ago and was relcaimed from a dumpster, then reclaimed from my toy box to become a laughable addition to my laughable guitar collection. I sat down and began strumming through these old songs and thinking a lot about the history behind them, the life events that inspired them to be written... songs about slavery and freedom, love, friendship, hope, basically about the parts of life that make it worth living, and I've learned something that has completely changed my perspective on music and songwriting...
The most important thing about a song is not how pretty it is, how well it's composed or arranged, not the complexity of the chords or the solos, what matters most is that the song says what the author wanted it to say. I must have listened to Jack and Ben sing High Tide Low Tide 50 times, I even went on limewire and found a clip of them performing it together on Last Call and the thing that now stands out to me the most is that it's a song about friendship being sung by two men who are obviously the best of friends...
"In high seas or in low seas I will be your friend!
Yes in high tide or in low tide, I'll be by your side!
You know that I'll be by your side!"
My new goal is not to wow the world with clean, complex guitar compositions or to write songs that will be sung by thousands of screaming teenagers around the world, my new goal is to write songs that will be sung quietly around a campfire 30 years after I am dead and gone, songs who's melodies will be carefully and thoughtfull picked through by someone sitting alone on a beach somewhere, someone remembering better days gone by or dreaming of those to come, someone needing comfort or courage, or just a good story to tell. I want to write simple songs that change the world... simple songs on a simple guitar... songs that speak for themselves.

Aaahhhh... weekends.

2005-11-07T19:36:00.000-06:00

CDs I've recently begged, borrowed or burned:
Kanye West - Late Registration
Third Day - Wherever You Are

Friday morning I packed a bag and headed north... way north, all the way to Iowa to visit Kristi. It was an absolute fantabulous weekend! ...aside from the simple fact that I got to spend all weekend with my girlfriend, we did tons of crazy fun stuff! This was our weekend of culinary experimentation: friday night we made baked bbq chicken with home made bbq sauce, twice baked potatoes and mixed vegies. Saturday we made cinamon rolls for brunch and sunday we made chocolate chip cookies and home made pizza rolls. I'd give the food a perfect 100% on taste but about a 92% on presentation since out bbq sauce didn't get as thick as it was supposed to and our pizza rolls rose a smidge more than intended and actually became pizza muffins.
On saturday we went and saw a movie at the ImaX theater in DesMoines and then spent the afternoon playing in the Iowa Science Center. Saturday night after dinner we rented Batman Returns (a pretty good movie, if you like sub-realistic superhero flicks). Sunday after church we ate dinner with the family then went for a walk around the lake then to Cup-A Joe for coffee ...mmmmmmmmmm coffeeeeee...... where Kristi made one of the most fantastically funny comments of her life... (she'll hit me for posting this, but it was just too funny to keep it to myself!) We were sitting at the window bar in Cup-A Joe looking out the window... Kristi is making a funny face and staring at the 50's style ice cream shop across the parking lot when she says... "I wonder what that lady is doing... she's been standing by that door for like 20 minutes with that guitar...." I looked at the ice cream shop, then at Kristi, then back and forth another time or two not believing that she was serious (which she was). ...I replied as lovingly as I could without laughing "um baby, that's a statue of Elvis..." The look that dawned across her face was priceless! I though coffee was gonna come out my nose! It was hillarious! We had a good laugh.

Anyway, I drove home this morning and now I'm back here, bored and alone with nothing to do... snore.

I'm currently reading Velvit Elvis by Rob Bell (fantastic so far) and The Five Love Languages (because Kristi read it and thinks I need to read it so I can understand her... we'll see about that).

peace out my babies.

The race is long... and in the end it's only with yourself.

2005-10-31T12:06:00.000-06:00

I learned a long time ago that it's pointless to compare yourself to anyone else. It's pointless to use another person as the standard by which you determine the success or failure of your life. Baz Luhrman said "don't waste your time on jealousy, sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind, but the race is long and in the end it's only with yourself." ...I'll be the first to admit that this is hard, especially when it comes to the path you walk as a Christian... when sometimes you feel like you're so far ahead of the game and other times you feel like your miles behind the person you were even yesterday.
This past weekend on the retreat we talked about masks, who it is that we pretend to be. I can honestly say that I have never been anything but sincere about being the person I believed God wants me to be, but the recent months have had me asking the question "who does God want me to be? I have always said that who I am is not determined by what I do, and I still believe that is the case... but that leaves me wondering exactly who I am.... I am not Ryan the college student, I am not Ryan the youth minister, I am not Ryan the musician, I am not Ryan the theologian, I am not even Ryan the Christian.
I'm just Ryan.
Being a Christian is part of me, being a student, a minister, a musician, they are all parts of me, but none of them acurately define who it is that God is creating me to be! Psalms says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I'm having trouble seeing the big picture here.
I want, so despirately, to put all my energy into becoming what God desires for me, but that is becoming so hard! When I say that God wants me to be a guitar player, it so easy to devote myself to becoming the absolute best guitarist I can be, there is a goal and a path to reach it... but what do your pour yourself into when you aren't sure what your purpose is? At times it seems like becoming the best Christian I can even falls so terribly short of what it is that God truly wants from me. God doesn't care about religion. God doesn't want my guitar or my voice, He doesn't want my creativity, He doesn't want my time or my money, he just wants me... how can I give God something if I don't know what it is? It's easy to give Him Ryan the Guitar Player, or Ryan the Youth Minister, but just plain old Ryan? What does it even mean to give yourself to God? Not to give your abilities, but to give yourself? How do you stop trying to be something and start trying to be someone? ...this is one of those "feeling behind" times in the race... when you think you're getting everything figured out and then God comes along and you get knocked on your butt and realize that you don't actually have a clue what God is all about. I don't want to be the greatest guitar player or the greatest minister or the greatest Christian, I want to simply be what God wants me to be, I want to be the perfect incarnation of the picture God has in His head when He dreams about what I could become....
...lots of thinking and praying ahead...

It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!

2005-10-25T21:22:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's that time of year once again, when the Great Pumpkin will rise from the pumpkin patch and bring gifts to all the children who truly believe! ...or maybe it's the time of year when the temperature drops, the yard is knee-deep with leaves, candles give our house a warm glow and the scent of my moms fresh apple pie makes you want to just wrap up in a blanket and take a long nap. It's so nice to be home, even if only for a while.
This weekend is our FUEL retreat, and I'm pretty excited! It's going to be awesome to just run away for the weekend and give God a chance to do something cool! The camp we're going to is in the absolute middle of nowhere so there's no cell phone reception, no TV stations, no radio stations worth listening to... a retreat in every sense of the word. Last night the band got together to run through some of the worship songs for the weekend. I get to play bass, something that has me really excited as well! My bass has felt a bit neglected the last year or so, I'm glad to break it out and let it play :) If this trend of occasional bass playing keeps up I just may feel justified at purchasing a REAL bass, something a bit more respectable than the old 3DU model. I'd like to go with some sort of Fender P-Bass, but I don't want to sink too much dinero into it since I don't really get to play bass all that often. I donno, we'll just have to wait and see what kind of doors God opens in that area. It's rough when you decide that from now on you will only purchase legitimate, quality equipment, not the budget stuff on the back page of the catalog... no more $200 off-brand guitars, from here on out we're gonna be a bit more professional.
Completely opposite to what I just said, I picked up an old acoustic guitar at a garage sale last weekend for $5. My plan was to dust it off, string it up and resell it. I replaced the missing bridge pins and actually strung it with some old SuperSlinky electric strings I found when I was moving. After getting it all fixed up I realized that it's completely unplayable! The nut is so tall that when you tune the strings, playing a chord bends them so much that they actually change pitch and the chord is out of tune... My solution? I tuned it to Open C and decided to learn to play some slide guitar! With the strings so far off the fretboard it works just like a dobro or some sort of lap guitar. I figured out a rough version of Ben Harper's "Ground on Down", and it's actually pretty fun! I may keep it just for laughs.

Well, that's all I have to say. Here are a couple fun links to waste your time. ENJOY! Click here for a hillarious cartoon my sister showed me.
Or, you can carve your very own
online pumpkin!

It's not every day you see a donut break in half in mid-air like that... ...but lord knows I have....

2005-10-22T01:21:00.000-05:00

10 cool points for whoever can give me the time, place and person related to the above quote.

This week I learned to play:
"Friend of the Devil" by the Grateful Dead
"Long December" by the Counting Crows
"Every Graid of Sand" by Bob Dylan
"All I Need is You" by Hillsongs UNITED
"Trouble Is" by Jars of Clay
"This Is Your Life" by Switchfoot

I was grately irritated last week when I wrote a cool little instrumental song, all fingerpicking, only to discover that it fits perfectly with a song called "Where the Spirit of the Lord is There is Freedom"... I don't know if that means I didn't actually write it since it fit with a previously written work, or if God was preparing me to play a certain worship set, or if it was just an amazing coinsidence... I do, however, remember the same thing happening to me once in college when I wrote a song only to hear it on the radio a couple days later... "Leave Your Lights On" by Carlos Santana and Everlast... Jared, I think the Nazis are still around.

I put new strings on my guitar... Elixer NanoWeb Custom-lights... it sounds fantabulous!

Books I'm currently reading:
Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller
Radical Reformission by Mark Driscal (Mark, 1,000 apologies if I spelled your name wrong!)

Books I'd like to read soon:
Velvet Elvis
The final three books in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy collection by Douglas Adams

I'm really hungry for a #8 on sweetbread from Head West... all the basics, no onions, extra pickles... mmmmm!

dang, now I'm really hungry...

Now Playing - Jars of Clay: Much Afraid

2005-10-19T18:26:00.000-05:00

I'm tired of seeing "Drink Coke Play Again".

I'm also really amazed at how much crap there is in the christian bookstore that people actually pay good money for... pint in case: "Walking With Frodo" - a devotional for teens. yes, they actually have it... and coming this fall, "Walking With Bilbo". ...this in addition to "Finding Philosophy and Spirituality in The Matrix". Whatever happened to walking with Jesus and finding our truths in the Bible? I think it's a shame that the real life Jesus isn't exciting enough for us, we have to dress Him up like Hollywood to get kids to read about Him. It's sad.

I've learned seven new songs off the Hillsongs UNITED CD. It's amazing, I actually like Hillsongs when it doesn't have Darlene what's-her-name bathed in spotlights on the cover. I've been listening to the new Dave Crowder CD, and honestly, it's good, but there isn't a single song on it worth trying to play in a worship set, something I'm dreadfully thankfull for! I've gotten really tired of playing DCB songs, always the same beat, always the same chords. It's nice to have a good worship CD that isn't going to get played into the ground by psudo-rockstar worship leaders. Lately I've been hugely addicted to old school Delirious, they wrote some incredible worship songs back in the day but, for some reason, people never really payed any attention to them, they got skipped over... you can bust out a 6 year old Delirious song and everyone thinks it's new! Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble, White Ribbon Day, etc. Great songs. I've also been into the Passion Hymns and Springhill albums. I'm also looking into tossing some old Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan songs into the worship mix, just to add some variety.

After some quality time spent with Damien Rice on his album "live at union chapel" I've been experimenting more with the acoustic/crybaby combo for some new songs... it's tricky, but I think it's going to be pretty cool.

Law & Order: SVU is the greatest show ever. '24' would be a close second.

If anyone wants to buy me a Taylor T5 Custom to replace my Takamine Koa I would be forever gratfeful... and I'd have your name engraved on the back... tempting, isn't it?

Alright, I hear a green tea with honey calling my name. Peace.

Shwing Shwong Ping Pong Jesus Ate My Toast

2005-10-17T03:25:00.000-05:00

If you're confused about the title for this post, join the club. ...i have no idea... ...ask my sister.

I havn't posted in a while, something I'm not going to apologize for because honestly, it's my blog and I can post as often or as infrequently as I want to... so there!

What's new... hmm... Kristi was in town this past weekend! Friday night we played board games at Matts house with some friends. Saturday night we made a fire in the pit on the patio and made SMOREs. While sitting peacefully by the fire we made a new little friend, a calico kitten that wondered up onto the patio and wouldn't leave us alone! I kicked him into the yard twice but he kept coming back so finally I broke down and petted him and he acted like he hadn't been petted in weeks! Before long he found a nice warm spot, curled up on Kristi's lap by the fire. He was way too clean and friendly to be a stray so we decided it was safe to hold him and let him hang out with us because he would go home as soon as we went inside, which he did after the fire had finally died out.
This morning we made it to church in time for the 9:00 sevice to teach Jr. High. Went well, there were about 30 kids and I ended up having nothing to be in charge of except a prayer group at the end (score!), but half way through I got the most aweful headache so we skipped the next service and came home where I took a nap. Later we met my mom for lunch at Wendy's (#6, the Spicy Chicken Sandwich, of course). Spent the rest of the day driving around and getting out photo taken because there are only a handful of pictures of us in existance and Kristi was tired of the few my mom has around the house.

Monday afternoon I have an interview at the TV station to be a Production Assistant. I don't know if I'll get the job or if I'll even want it, so you can pray for that if you want to. It would be a pretty cool job, and it would pay the bills. People seem pretty shocked that I'm looking into jobs that aren't "ministry" related, but I'm getting pretty sick of it... I am not defined by my occupation. Who I am and what I do with my life has nothing to do with the source of my paycheck. God opens doors, I walk through them... who am I to tell God what kind of doors He should be opening?? and honestly, at this point, finding a "ministry job" is not my top priority (in fact, it barely makes the list). I'm far more concerned with finding the place God wants me than with finding the place I want to be and then trying to find a way to say it was God who put me there. Too often God is blamed AND credited for things He didn't do, and I think either way is really dangerous. Going into the days, weeks, years ahead I have no expectations, no will of my own for my life... God has complete freedom to do what He wishes... with no complaints from this end. No matter what I want, no matter how big I could possibly dream, God is capable of a thousand times more than that! John Lennon said that life is what happens while you're making other plans, and I think he couldn't have been more right.

Well, it's late so I'm gonna crash.

Three Chears for Bono!

2005-10-07T13:35:00.000-05:00

Last night was the Late Night With Conan O'Brien U2 special, and if you didn't catch it, I'm terribly sorry for you, because it was definately one of the best Conan O'Brien episodes on record... not to mention that I love U2. They were his only guest, they performed like five songs and all had parts in the random sketches they do on that show, it was great. Bono has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize... I don't think it will happen, but it's still cool that he was nominated. I find it strange that U2 is considered the Pride of Ireland, yet when I was in Doublin the ONLY time I heard anything by U2 was when I ate in the "American" restaurant... strange...

Last night was another exciting installment of FUEL... I really love playing the bass there, it's so much more fun than leading! Looking forward to the FUEL retreat at the end of the month, it will be nice to get away for a weekend without having to be in charge of anyone.

An impulse purchase at Wal Mart the other night has cost me several hours of frustration. Thinking back to college I remember large groups of guys in the dorm staying up till all hours of the night playing a terribly complicated computer game called Diablo. While cruising the electronics department I noticed the sequel, Diablo II, for a fairly cheap price, and having never played the original, I decided to give it a try... my goodness that game is addictive. I'm talking like, Ben & Jerry's, 24, tar-heroin addictive! I've become obsessed with the life and times of my little Amazon Warrior Princess charactor, obviously named Kristi. I can't say that I'm really all that good at the game yet, it's fairly complicated when you first start out, lots of hot keys to memorize, maps, quests, weapons and statistics, but my oh my, is it a fun game! I've been a bit in the dark concerning the actual storyline, because like I said, I had never played the first one, but I'm begining to understand the long nights (and resulting poor grades) of those guys in the dorm.

Well, I'm gonna bounce. Kristi is coming down this weekend so I need to clean up. Have a good weekend, stay warm, and remember to play inside the groove but outside the lines. Peace.

Is God faithful or am I crazy?

2005-10-03T23:44:00.000-05:00

Looking back I think that losing my job was an incredible thing to experience...
I remember my first year at summer camp, on the very first day, we had to take our swimming test in the lake. My camp had three swimming areas, White (waist deep), Red (just over your head) and Blue (all the way out to the diving platform). Of course everyone wanted to be a Blue Swimmer, Blue Swimmers could go to the diving platform, they could take out boats and canoes, basically you were the royalty of the waterfront if your tag was colored blue... however, if you were a White Swimmer you were nothing, basically all you could do was kneel in the water and wait for your trunks to get filled with sand... as a White Swimmer you were better off just skipping open-swim and weaving another stupid basket for your mom or something. Anyway, I remember telling the lifeguard I wanted to test for Blue... in doing so I knew that the lifeguard was expecting me to be able to swim... I remember following him out onto the dock and being told that I would be jumping into the lake on the outside of the dock... not what I had been expecting... on the inside of the dock there were things to grab onto, the bottom of the lake was only inches below your feet, but outside... that was a different story... on that side of the dock there isn't anything below your feet except cold water. Here's the trick though... if you test for Blue and fail you are automatically made a Red Swimmer, not Blue but still infinately better then White, so I reasoned that all I had to do was jump in and not die.. trusting that the lifeguard was worth his salt I had nothing to lose, so I jumped in.
I don't know if you've ever, literally, felt like you've gotten in over your head with something, but that day I definately understood what it meant to be in deep water. My plan of droping straight to the bottom and pushing back to the surface fell apart when I failed to ever sink to the bottom.
What does this have to do with losing my job... We all think we have a plan for our lives untill we land in the deep water (by our own choosing or not) and we realize that our plan was so incredibly insuficient that there isn't any way we could ever recover gracefully. The best we can manage is to claw our way back to the surface coughing up lake water and seaweed. Our only hope is that the lifeguard pole will be there when we need it. I know this is a lame illustration, probably one that's been used a hundred thousand times, but right now I have that same feeling of being in the deep water... I don't know the outcome what what is hapening in my life right now, I'm somewhere between the surface and the sand, the only difference this time is that I am not afraid. Maybe you didn't catch the hugeness of what I said, so I'll say it again. I am not afraid. My bills are starting to pile up, my insurance has finally expired, my bank account is in the double digits, my car is on empty, and I am not afraid. There seems to be something liberating about being 100% completely out of options. I have nothing of my own to rely on. The doubts and fears that keep trying to creep into my head and drive me insane are so completely overwhelmed by this peace that is beyond my understang. It's total insanity to be in this position and not be worried, yet here I sit, honestly happy, completely peaceful, because God is completely faithful. I know that I am fine, there is no reason to worry, God will provide. I have no idea how or when, but I know He will, I'm certain of it, more certain than I am that the sun will come up in the morning! I have nothing to look forward to except the rest of my life, however long that may be, and I know that God is already working out my tomorrows so why should I worry about them today?
Life is definately not easy, it's so hard to wait for the answers to come, but it's incredible to see it happening, the see just how the answers do eventually arrive, how God chooses to work things out in the most bizzar and spectacular ways! The man was born blind so that his sight would show Gods glory to the world. I've ended up in this deep water so that Gods glory could become obvious to me. I don't know what will happen tomorrow... maybe I'll get a phone call about an incredible ministry opportunity... maybe God will open a door for me to stack boxes in a warehouse... it doesn't matter to me anymore, because it's Gods problem, not mine, and He already knows how He's going to fix it. I'm happy because God is faithful... call me crazy if you want to, but losing my job is starting to look like one of the best things to ever happen to me!

Weekend Update

2005-10-02T23:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I've done a lot the last few days, but I never wrote any of it down... so here is the cliff notes version.
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I'm completely moved in to my new house. I havn't started living there yet though because I still need to fix the shower and stock the fridge.
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Yesterday I went and visited my Grandpa in the hospital... well, it's not really a hospital, it's more of a rehab center to help him recoup from some surgery he had a week or so ago. He's doing alright, and I got to meet his cool room mate, a 90 year old guy named Forrest (yes, I laughed too).
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Yesterday afternoon my turtle and my rabbit had a bit of a traumatic experience... I can't really say they got into a fight, because the entire fiasco was an accident and only happened because they were both scared to death. Taco was somewhere in the house, as usual, and Hollister was making his usual rounds through the house... under the table, behind the sofas, under all the chairs, etc. Normally the two animals have absolutely nothing to do with eachother, they're in two completely different worlds... the rabbit is too fast for the turtle to care what it's doing and the turtle is so slow the rabbit just thinks he's a bump to be stepped on (I've seen this happen on several occasions). Yesterday, however, proved to be different.
Tonya and I were sitting in the living room watch the Food Network (yes!) when we heared a scuffle behind the sofa, lots of scratching and hissing and clunking sounds... before we could figure out what the noise was a fur ball came flopping out onto the carpet, crawling/scratching/rolling/running into the dining room... the rabbit... with a turtle stuck to his foot! The rabbit was obviously starting to panic, he was trying to run away but every step he took sent Taco clunking into the hardwood floor over and over again! I managed to pin them bith to the ground and pull the turtle off of Hollister's foot. That's when I discovered that Hollister hadn't been bitten, he had gotten his toe stuck in the back end of Taco's shell! I'm guessing Hollister tried to jump over the turtle and just accidentilly got his toe inside the shell, which I'm sure freaked the turtle out causing him to clamp his shell closed... right on Hollister's foot! I'm sure this hurt like the dickens so he tried to get away, draging the turtle behind which probably just made him just squeze his shell closed even tighter!
Needless to saw both of them were traumatized by this. Taco stayed clamped up in his shell for nearly 2 hours untill Tonya managed to get him to come out and streatch his legs. Hollister suffered the most damage, with one foot gushing blood all over the place... not so good when you're covered with white fur! Anyway, since he was hurt he hid immediately under my bed. I managed to get him to come out to me, limping all the way. I wraped his foot up in toilet paper to stop the bleeding then I just held him for about 45 minutes because he was so upset he wouldn't stop shaking! I was afraid his toe may be broken, but today it looks to be doing much better. I don't know if either of them have any idea of what happened... my guess is that the only thing going through their minds was "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" It was pretty funny.
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This morning I tought Jr. High at church... week #2 of this whole "40 Days of Purpose" thing... I'm not a fan. The lessons aren't very good... they bore me and I'm the teacher!
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Tonight was RAIN number two. I guess it went alright, but I really wasn't "on" as far as musical performance goes... it wasn't one of my most shining moments... not that anything bad happened or went drastically wrong, I just don't feel like I was in the "zone"... sometimes you walk away and think "yeah, that went alright..." and other times you walk away and think "dang, I wish I could do that over again...", and tonight was one of those night for me. We played some pretty rockin songs though... My Glorious, All Bow Down, Sing to The King, Thank You For Loving Me, All I Can Say... all awesome songs, now having been totally molested and destroyed by the pitiful efforts of Ryan Green.
It was good to see friends again, and it makes me kinda mad that I don't live close enough to spend time with them... it seems like I'm only able to live somewhere just long enough to make friends then I have to leave again, and I hate that.
Anyway, I drove back to quincy fast, with the windows down, with some old school Audio Adrenaline cranked to 11. I'm glad I stoped by Starbucks before I left town, cuz I'm dead tired now. I got a double chocolate chip frapuccino and a Doubleshot Espresso (which I chugged while wating for my frapuccino)... it was just enough of a bood to get me home.
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Alright, that's it, I'm going to be now.
Peace.

Creativity: The Bane of My Existance

2005-09-29T01:04:00.000-05:00

I'm very creative. It's a curse, really. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be a linier thinker, someone who is more of an "A to B to C" kind of person, instead of an "A to Q to J to a picture of a stick man to P to the number 3+9x to G to the sound of an F#m7 strummed backward to Mars" kind of person. The result of all this is that I have a very short attention span, 500 ideas bouncing through my head every second (most of which really aren't good ideas at all, but rather little things I think of and then think 'man, I'm glad I didn't try that, I would have looked like a tool'), and a never ending cycle of criticism on the ideas that I did actually decide to run with. Example: I go through a lot of sketchbooks, but I never keep anything I put in them... a few days after I draw something I look at it again and think, "gross, I don't want anyone to see that!" and I throw it out. Anyone who has spent any time with me knows that I can't stans blank space, I need to fill it with something! When I was younger I had a big room with stark white walls, so I painted them... not just painted them, but graffittied them. Every notebook, every binder, every box has to be adorned with mental overflow or I can't stand to look at it. I've always wanted a tattoo, the problem is that you can't erase it and start over if you don't like it.. of course I would want to design my own tattoo, but I'm too creative to come up with just one design and way to indecisive to pick what or where I'd get it, so I'm blank and will probably stay that way... naked at the mercy of indecision...
Point: I wrote three songs today. I later decided they were all crap and threw them (plus another previous work) into the trash. Two years ago I decided to record a solo CD and every time I get enough songs together to do so I rampage through the list and scrap 3/4 of what I've done... not necessarily because they were all bad, but because I'm constantly thinking I can do better... not a bad thing, but it has completely shut down this whole CD production process. When 3DU was recording I always liked every part of every song except for mine... it's just my nature to be my own most hateful critic. Every bootlegged worship set sounds to me like nothing but #'s, b's, wrong chords and general audio disappointment from yours truly. Kristi usually likes my songs... then again she's my girlfriend so she's probably a little biased...especially when it's a song written for her. My mom usually likes them too, but then again, she's my mom. I have no trouble getting the song out and onto paper, the problem is that once I do, it's in real danger of being trashed. What I need is a producer... someone to tell me what is crap and what isn't... someone who will tell me what to toss and what to keep, because after a while it's all just mush in my head... the upside is that none of my songs are complete trash, if I've kept it around then it must have something going for it... When I draw I stand back and blur my eyes to see the big picture without concentrating on the details, I wish there was a way to do that with music... or with life in general...

...anyway, no CD yet, but eventually, I promise!!! Jesus may come back before then however, so those of you who have pre-ordered copies may just be out some money, and I'm sorry, but seriously, I don't think you'll care.

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey.

2005-09-28T15:06:00.000-05:00

Driving. Driving. Driving. I'm so freaking sick of driving. It's almost beyond my comprehension how one person (myself) can obtain so much random stuff in just over a year! Even more difficult for me to fathom is how many trips it's taken me to transport it all from my apartment in Chatham to my house in Quincy! Las night was a marathon trip over and back with the SUV loaded to capacity... furnature tied to the top, a bike rack used for purposes other than those intended, the back door hanging open, the front seats pushed to the dashboard... truly it was a sight to behold. One more good trip with the Explorer and I'll be officially OUT! This works out well because I've gotta head over that direction for RAIN practice any way... guess I might as well just make it another long night and just get it done. I can't wait to be done with this whole moving thing! One place or the other, but being halfway between is a pain in the butt. Chances are a lot of what is left will end up in the dumpster because I'm just that sick of all this stuff.

I'm sort of glad to be going to RAIN practice tonight, my guitar has been feeling a bit neglected the last few weeks... I'm negatively excited about driving the 90 minutes to Springfiled...again... but the end is finally in sight!

I'm sorry I havn't kept you up to date on what's going on with Hollister... he's growing pretty fast, but he is still the same cute little guy he was three months ago. Right now he's chewing on my shoestring...strange...

Taco has finally been relocated, something I'm sure he is terribly excited about, however he does his best not to show it. We had a long talk last night about life and why we had to move again, and judging from the look on his face he seemed to understand... but it could also have been gas...

It's raining today. Lightning almost hit the horses this morning, it got them pretty upset and turned off my lights for a moment (not to mention it scared the crap outta me too). It's so nice living out away from everything... when it starts to rain I can sit with the windows open and listen to the rain, not the traffic. The only others around are the horses, the couple farm cats that like to sit under the chair on my porch and my grandpa (who comes and goes as often as I do). Occasionally one of the groundhogs that live under my house will waddle out into the yard to eat grass, but they don't like me very much (probably because of my loud rock n roll music) so whenever I try to start a conversation they quickly (well, as quickly as possible for a groundhog) waddle back into their hole. The other day I saw one of them in the yard playing with one of the farm cats... I thought this was strange but I decided not to think it was too cute because the plan is to start shooting the groundhogs so they don't chew up my heat ducts under the house. It would be sad to shoot something cute so I do my best to think of them as vermin and try not to get too attached to them.

Well, I'm gonna make like a baby and head out, I've gotta take a shower and get ready for another run to Springfield *snore*.

Revolution.

Pray

2005-09-24T17:11:00.000-05:00

A good friend of mine was in a car accident this morning. My brother saw it happen and was the first person there to help... pray for them and for everyone else involved.

Life, The Universe, and Everything

2005-09-24T13:57:00.000-05:00

Ya know, I don't know if I want to go back to working for a church... I've felt more effective for the cause of Christ since getting fired than I did when I worked there... at lunch yesterday my friend said that He's tired of being labeled "The Preacher" because it actually pushes people away from him, and I totally understand. I want people to want to talk to me because I'm helpful, not to avoid me because they're scared of getting a sermon. In fact, I refuse to 'preach', because I'm the last person to claim to 'have it all together' enough to tell someone else how they should live. I never wanted to be a "preacher", I never wanted to be a "youth minister", all I ever wanted to do was lead people to Christ, to give them the same joy and hope that I have... maybe working for a church isn't the best way to do that... maybe there's a better way...

Musical Randomness

2005-09-20T14:37:00.000-05:00

CDs I've recently bought, borrowed or burned:
Jason Mraz - Mr. A-Z
Vineyard Worship - South Africa
Andrew Peterson - The Far Country
Switchfoot - Nothing Is Sound
Audio Adrenaline - Until My Heart Caves In
Rented Rhythm - To The King (okay, this one wasn't bought, borrowed or burned, it was a freebie).

CD currently spinning in the machine:
Bela Fleck & The Flecktones - Little Worlds, Disk #3.

5 Most recent song I've learned:
Dixie Chicks - Cowboy Take Me Away
Hillsongs - Free
Green Day - Boulavard of Broken Dreams
Jimmy Buffet - Pirate Looks Back at 40
Smelly Cat

Next 5 songs I plan on learning:
Andrew Peterson - Lay Me Down
Switchfoot - Happy Is a Yuppie Word
Donovon Frankenteiter - It Don't Matter
Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes
Lynard Skynard - The Ballad of Curtis Lowe

Next tattoo I plan on getting:
A 14 inch portrait of the virgin mary on my back.

Most recent lie I've told:
That I was planning on getting a tattoo of the virgin mary.

Secular Mango Worship

2005-09-19T20:08:00.000-05:00

Welcome back! Okay, I guess I'm the one who's been MIA for the last few days, many apologies, but I've been busy. I've been moving and cleaning like nobodies business! The task of cleaning up this old house to become the new flat has turned into quite the project. Last week I had to take care of a wasp nest in the back window, between the panes of glass, and I was nearly carried off the the queen. I underestimated the number of wasps in the nest by about 5 or 6 dozen and soon found myself praying that there was more spray in the can than there were wasps in the nest because the more I sprayed, the more wasps came pouring out of the window. Inteligence instead of numbers eventually came out on top and the windows are now wasp-free. (there is quite a bit more the this story, but this is a catch-up blog, so I won't go into all the drama.)

Kristi came to visit again the past weekend! It was a great weekend, even though I feel kinda bad about it... she helped me finish up the cleaning of the house, which makes here an awesome girlfriend, bat makes me a pretty low-quality boyfriend for making her clean windows on her weekend trip. :( I'm sorry baby, but thanks for helping!

Sunday after church (and a family "picnic" in the park) we drove and met up with our friends the Stephans and the Burbidges then traveled on to Kirksville, Mo to lead worship at a church there... it was a good time, I love leading worship and playing guitar! I would do it all day if I could!
While we were at the church that night, however, the youth group devotion was about the evils of secular music and why it's such a sin for Christians to listen to it... I didn't say a word during the devo, although I have a few thoughts on this topic, and since this is my blog, I will list my opinions below, in no particular order or outline.

1. It is IMPOSSIBLE for music to be either good or evil, good/evil is determined by the the intent of the artist.

2. It seems to me that many turbo-conservative Christians lump music into one of two catagoties, "Worship" or "Pagan", if it isn't a worship song, than it's "secular" and is therefore sinful. I think this is a load of crap.

3. I think most "christian" music stinks.

4. I guarantee that every "christian" musician has secular roots. We would not have the diversity of christian music we have if people didn't take time to study what is "secular".

5. Where you buy the CD and/or what label it's produced by have no baring on it's good/evil ratio.

6. It's better to a discerning person than a blind one. Be able to decide for yourself if it's something you should be listening to or not.... not all "secular" is bad, and not all "christian" is good... God gave you a brain, use it.

7. The purpose of music is far wider than worship (have you ever read Song of Solomon? or Proverbs? Ecclesiastes?) Aldous Huxley said that "after silence, that which come nearest to expressing the inexpressible, is music", God gave us music as a way for us to say things that we cannot do with normal words, music wraps up the words in emotion and gives life to ideas that we would otherwise be hard pressed to express. I've noticed that a lot of "christian" music is people saying what they think they should be saying, whereas most "secular" music is people just saying what they have to say... I would rather have honesty than a mask any day. You can learn so much about a person by the music they write, by the music they listen to, latch onto and claim as their own. You can learn a lot about society by looking at it's musicians, seeing what it's story tellers, historians, etc have to say about life. Listen to "Father of Mine" by Everclear and tell me what you can learn about that man and his outlook on life. Listen to Bob Marley's "Redemption Song" and see if you can get a glimpse into his soul... Ben Harper's "Oppression", or Beck's "Beercan"... okay, bad example, but you get my point.

8. Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater! PLEASE STOP teaching people that secular = evil and start teaching them to discern what is right and good from what is evil and hurtful.

9. The problem here is not that there is evil music that will corrupt our children, the problem is that there are people out there who do not know the love of Jesus and therefore have become corrupting influences. I say it's time for the Church to stop hiding inside it's building and go out to those people and show them the love of jesus istead of tossing them into the "secular" (a.k.a. headed straight to Hell and we'd rather avoid them them help them) pile. How does it help to say "don't listen to that guy's music, he's evil."? What you are actually saying is "I don't care what that guy has to say, he's not "christian" and so I don't think he's worth listening to... and if you do listen to his music you're just as bad as he is." Seriously, give me a break.

10. I'm sure some of you agree with me, and some of you are already thinking about how you're going to correct me with little sermons in the comment box, little "I hear what you're saying, but....."'s, so let me say this now: If you don't like it, just don't listen to it. If you have a problem with absorbing ideas from your music that aren't God-honoring things to have floating around in your head, don't listen to it. If your parents tell you not to listen to something, don't listen to it. Yes, you DO listen to the words, and you know what's right and wrong, that old trick is a load of crap and you know it so don't push it. Not all "secular" music is bad, but I'm not going to say that's it's all harmless... don't put things into your mind that are against the things of God, he gave you that mind, use it for His glory.

That being said, I'm getting down off my soapbox and I'm going to go write a song that's been building in my head all day.

I love FUZE Mojo Mango juice.

Unemployed Youth/Worship Minister Seeks Ministry... Have Guitar, Will Travel.

2005-09-15T23:18:00.000-05:00

Delivered truckload number 2 from Springfield this morning. Unloaded box after soggy box (thanks to the crazy thunderstorming today) into my new temporary home. It's actually shaping up to look like a nice place (thanks to a couple Plug-Ins, half a bottle of FreBreeze, and some soapy water). Most of my stuff is now here, but none of the furnature, so it looks like this whole process of moving isn't quite over yet.

It's SO good to be home, even if only for a little while. I went to FUEL again tonight, it's nice to see old friends again, catch up on the last year of their lives... I'll be playing some guitar there next Thursday, which will be absolutely incredible. I'm also pretty pumped about this 24/7 Week of Prayer thing that's going on this week... starting in 34 minutes to be exact... I've got three timeslots, Tuesday at 11am, and Wednesday & Thursday at 3am... it's great to be barely moved back and be able to jump right back into things! I've tried, in the past, to get people excited about prayer, and it's always been like pulling teeth, it's so awesome to be someplace where it's seen as an opportunity and not a burden, where prayer is more important than music or preaching.

My Mom has informed me that I need to find a permenant job here in Quincy so I can live here forever... while this plan would provide me with free food and laundry service, I don't think it's really the best option. I do still plan on looking for a ministry of some type... youth, music, something else entirely, who knows. I havn't completely ruled out the idea of recording a multi-platinum selling album and touring the world... but I still don't know... we'll see. I really like the idea of forming and/or joining another worship band, even though I had sworn to never EVER join another band after that organizational disaster we called 3DU, but I can't get it out of my head... My good friend Nate has often mentioned starting another band, cutting a CD and seeing where it takes us, and I'm starting to think "why not?"... For all of it's problems, Three Days Under was a good band. By the time we split up we sounded every bit as good as any worship band around, and to tell you the truth, I think it's a shame we didn't all realize the potential at the time... I'm the first to admit that I was one who failed to see it, I was one who bailed out... but not a day has gone by that I havn't kicked myself for not chasing the dream... not a single "practice" with some other group has gone by that I havn't wished I could trade the musicians for the guys in 3DU... I gave it up to "get a real job", and look where it got me... right back where I started... I don't know how hip I am on the idea of working for another church, I don't know if I want to deal with all the politics, but I do know that I can do something great for God, and I need to find a way and a place to do it. If anyone needs a youth/worship minister, give me a call. If any band needs a guitar/bass/digeriedoo player, give me a call. Shoot, if anyone needs a roadie, give me a call cuz I'm heck of unemployed!

The up side to being unemployed is that I'm free to do absolutely anything I want to!!! I guess I'll find a job to pay the bills, get myself out of debt, and then..... who knows....?

Man, I'm gonna mis that place....

2005-09-10T20:02:00.000-05:00

Okay, this is how it went....

Guy #1 - Hey dude, can I borrow a dollar?
Me - Um... sure, I guess...
Guy #1 - sweet dude, thanks.
Me - ...ah... no problem.... ?
Guy#1 (to Guy#2) Here dude, now I owe you three more.
Guy #1 (to me) Okay, now, what can I get for ya?
Me - I'll have a Number 8 on sweet bread, all the basics, no onion, extra pickle.
Guy #1 - Hot or cold?
Me - Hot, please, and can I get a Fufu Berry soda?
Guy #1 - sure thing... by the way, thanks again for that dollar.
Me - no problem.
Guy #1 - ...... you got another one?

Man, I'm gonna miss that place!

Oh My Darling Clementine....

2005-09-10T11:16:00.000-05:00

So the other day Sarah and I went to Starbucks to talk about life, the universe and everything and I was all excited because I was going to get an IZZE Sparkling Clementine! I picked one off the shelf, droped my money and found a seat. I was so excited, I LOVE IZZE Sparkling Clementine and I hadn't had one in over a month, so you can imagine how disappointed I was when it turned out to be Sparkling PEAR! GROSS! I'm not racist against pears, but when you are expecting clementine and you get pear it's disgusting... like at camp when you think the jug has kool-aid and it turns out to be tea... it's sick.
I almost finished the bottle, but not quite because Sparkling PEAR has little floaty bits in it and that's gross too. I went back to the counter to find my darling clementine and found that pear was in fact ALL THEY HAVE untill another shipment comes in!!! AAARRRGGG!!! I'm already starting to shake...

********************

Without a doubt one of my top 10 absolute favorite musicians is a guitar super-stud named Andrew Peterson. Not only is he a phenominal musician, but his songwriting is nothing short of perfection. The last album of his that I picked up was called "Love & Thunder" and it's one of those albums that you play straight through, start to finish because you can't bare to stop listening or skip a song... it's the bluegrass version of Switchfoot's 'Beautiful Letdown', I guess... Anyway, his CD's go with me everywhere. Last night, just out of boredom, I was following all the links on my own blog and discovered that AP has a new CD out that I didn't even know about, called 'The Far Country', not only that but another album called 'Behold The Lamb of God'! I'm freaking out here, seriously, if anyone wants to buy me a late birthday present or an early christmas present, there ya go.

Moving again...

2005-09-09T15:32:00.000-05:00

"Though it's six in the morning, I am wide awake, I'm leaving again, gonna take this old guitar and go... 'Cause it's one great big universe, and it's teaching my heart how to fight, It's one great big universe, and I've got my piece of the sky."

It's lonely when you have to leave. I've been packing boxes for two days straight and I'm only beginning to put a dent in this task of moving. Two days, just me and my turtle. Had lunch with some friends today, it was a pleasant retreat from all this work, but now I'm back at it... well, actually I'm taking a short break to post on the old blogaroo, but in a few minutes I'll be packing again... ...it's lonely when you have to leave.
Other than a couple of the students, I still havn't heard a thing from anyone at CCC... it really makes me wonder. I don't understand how people can be your friends and pat you on the back one day and the next they just completely forget about you... i guess it was all just a show, but maybe not, it's hard to say.
When I left Salt River I got a stack of cards and lots of goodbye hugs. When I left Kentucky Road they threw me a pot-luck dinner and the cards kept coming for weeks. It was nice to feel like there were people who were actually glad that I was there. It was nice to have someone wave goodbye. It's nice to feel like you're losing something when you leave. I don't really know how to feel when leaving in total silence... maybe people there have just grown accustomed to the idea of disposible youth ministers since that church burns through them at an average rate of one every 1.5 years... (over a dozen in the last 32 years)... Maybe it would be different if I had quit, maybe not. Maybe everyone has learned to keep their distance from the youth workers because most likely they will be leaving soon... who knows. ( a new youth minister was hired to replace me by the way... two whole weeks after I left, and I ask you all to pray for him).
Someday I want to have a family, and a home, and get comfortable living somewhere, how can I ever do this when churches have such little respect for youth ministers? I'm learning now that I showed too much commitment just renting an apartment because now I'm stuck trying to get out of a lease seven months early... How can a guy even consider having a family when the church he works for could decide to toss him out onto the street at the drop of a hat? It seems to me that if you aren't a "senior minister" (which I don't even believe is biblical) then you're job is a week by week situation... always walking on eggs for fear of one complaint. ...a guy gives up so much to move to a new city, go into financial debt in the process, and completely rearrange his life to give what he can to a congregation... it's a shame congregations can't show the same commitment back. Man, how incredible would it be to be able to watch the kids in the nursery graduate from highschool? How incredible would it be to teach the children of your youth group kids? How much would I love to be a stable part of someone's life instead of a part that could break lose and be gone... How much would I love to be able to make friends and keep them... How much would I love to tell someone I'll be there for them and not be made into a liar by someone else... How much would I love to have the time it takes to develop relationships deeper than Sunday morning hello's...
... guess I'll just have to keep looking.

The Seperation of State and Blogs

2005-09-09T15:24:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been fun watching the comments appear on the last post... it's truly amazing to me how people can get so upset when you say something they disagree with... especially in regards to politics... EVERYbody's got an opinion, and that's the beauty of life. But we're done with that now. This website is not affiliated in any way with any political party, foriegn or domestic, so keep all your opinions on such subjects to yourself... unless you're going to say that the Nazis were a bunch of jerks, I'm okay with that.

George Bush Doesn't Care About White People!

2005-09-08T00:09:00.000-05:00

Last night it rained and my car window was down and a book in my front seat got all wet... this makes me so mad! How much money have we spent on this silly war in Iraq that could have been spent on making sure everyone rolled their windows up when it rains?!?!? This is all President Bush's fault, because he hates white people who read books! If he didn't spend so much time on vacation this never would have happened! He needs to fire the manager of this apartment complex for her terrible response time in covering up my car with a tarp to keep out the rain! It's all George Bush's fault... because it couldn't possibly have been an accident!

...I hope you detect my sarcasm. I think it's amazing how people have to have someone to blame whenever anything bad happens, and I think it's a shame that most often the first person they blame is President Bush. There are two parts to this post, the first leads into the second. I've always avoided politics on my blog, but it's time I spoke my peace.

1. Hurricane Katrina:
A hurricane came along and flooded a city that was built below sea level... this should not come as a shock to anyone, it's common sense. It isn't President Bush trying to keep the black man down. Yes, it's aweful, and it's tragic, and I can't imagine what it would be like to be in the midst of such a mess, or to have family members somewhere in all that chaos, but give me a break, stop trying to blame someone! Who do these people think they are to sit there in a shelter, wraped up in a blanket with a bottle of water in hand and complain that the shelter, blanket and water took too long to get there??? What an awesome country we live in to have help come at all! In most countries they would have had to swim to high ground with their children tied to their backs and start walking to find their own food and water! Why is it that here in America we sit on our butts and wait for someone to come rescue us? Why is it that we always expect someone else to fix all our problems? Yes, it was a terrible thing that happened, I understand that, but it isn't anyone's fault, and everyone needs to show some gratitude for the help that did come, because there isn't anything the says it had to. How selfish can you be to have someone save your life and then get angry at them for not saving your life sooner? Leading to my second topic....

2. Everyone leave President Bush alone. Not just with the hurricane thing, but with everything! None of you have any idea what it is to sit in his chair, none of you have all the details of everything that goes on, basically none of you have any idea what you are talking about! How arrogant can you be to sit on your sofa and think you have the right to to bad-mouth the president of your country, the commander in chief of the military that keeps terrorists from crashing planes into your living room? This has absolutely nothing to do with your political opinions, it's about showing some respect for the man who does a job that you could not, without a single word of thanks or encouragement from couch-potato politicians like you. You can disagree with him all you want to, but how does it help to throw a sticker of Calvin peeing on his name in the back window of your muddy truck?? Like it or not, he is the President of the United States, you are not. There is such a thing as constructive criticism, if you're voice is going to be more hurtful than helpful, keep your mouth shut. If you think you can run the show better then get off your butt and see if people will vote you into the office, write a letter, whatever, just grow up and stop trying to tear people down and sabotage them by blaming them for stupid things that obviously aren't their fault.
It isn't Bush's fault that a hurricane sunk New Orleans.
It isn't Bush's fault that terrorists hate you and want to kill innoscent people.
It isn't Bush's fault that gas isn't free.
It isn't Bush's fault that you didn't get a birthday cake when you were five.
How awesome would it be if we could all get together and work toward something instead of arguing, complaining, whining, passing the blame and throwing dirt and eachother? How much could we actually accomplish if we all acted like civilized people with a shred of respect and consideration for anyone but ourselves?
Yes, the world has it's problems, and our country isn't perfect, let's see if we can work together to get through those problems instead of trying to destroy people as we throw our temper tantrums when we don't get our way.
THE POINT: I'm sure President Bush is doing the best he can, and I'm willing to bet he's doing a better job than anyone else could have done under the circumstances of the past few years, show some respect, show some gratitude, be an encouragement to our leaders instead of just trying to tear them down. The world will only get better when people learn to put away their stupid pride and arrogance and work together.

Most likely the people who need to hear any of that will never read this blog, but I've thrown it out there, and that's the point of a blog, getting it off your chest, if anyone ever reads it or not. Hopefully everyone who reads my blog already understands what I'm talking about.
Okay, I'm done ranting.
Pray for President Bush.

2005-09-07T14:55:00.000-05:00

My new favorite show is Tommy Lee Goes to College, I know it sounds stupid, but honestly, I love it! I have never been a big Tommy Lee fan, mostly because I've never been a big Motley Crew fan, but after catching the first few episodes of his show, I went out and picked up his new "solo" album, and it's actually really really good! It's a good blend of acoustic and metal. This album is actually the soundtrack for his TV show. If you've got $9 I strongly suggest you go pick it up... not to mention the album has some truely phenominal artwork! Two thumbs up.

Comments & CIY Pictures

2005-09-07T11:45:00.000-05:00

OKay, some of you have xanga sites instead of blogs and I've been meaning to leave you comments, but every time I try I remember that I need a xanga login name to do it and I never have time to create one... I've actually created several but they always have to be really hard to remember because everything is taken and I forget and have to make up another one... so, if you've been wondering why I havn't left any comments, that's the reason. Sometime when I have free time I'll make an account and post a novel, but not right now.

CIY PICTURES: yes, I know, I was supposed to make copies a month ago... my deepest apologies. I'll make copies this afternoon, I promise. call me.

Straight out' the trailor.

2005-09-06T16:39:00.000-05:00

My Great Grandma lives in a nursing home. I only mention this because it means that her house in the country is now vacant! In another week or so I'll be moving back to Quincy until I can find another full-time ministry (should God choose to use me that way) and, it looks as if I'll have a place to live, rent-free! Well, I guess you could say 'rent-free', I'll just be helping with some of the work around the place. The little house sits on a lot behing my grandpa's house on his horse farm just outside of town. It isn't much, basically a mobile home from back in the '70's, but it's just fine for what time God will choose to keep me here. 50 acres of fields and woods, a fishing pond and lots of trails... sounds good to me. It's far enough outside of town to be quiet but it's actually closer to Wal-Mart than my apartment in Chatham. It isn't the most glamerous place to live, but it's still amazing how God provides.
At any rate, I'll be moving to Quincy next week, so If you live in Chatham, let's get together this week before I go; if you live in Quincy lets get together next week, cuz I'll be around!
that's it for now.
....over....

Home

2005-09-02T10:44:00.000-05:00

My friend Tom is getting married this weekend and I am playing some guitar in the wedding, so I've come home. It's a little surreal to return to a place you left and find it pretty much unchanged... almost like going to visit your gradeschool after you've graduated from college. It's been nice to be home.
Last night I went back to FUEL for the first time since I moved away over a year ago, and it was great! It's been so long since I've been able to just sit in the crowd and worship, without having to lead or be on stage. It's amazing how empty you can feel after a year of pouring yourself into everything you do untill you're empty and then realizing there isn't anything there to fill you up again... just more people wanting things from you, telling you what to do and complaining about everything you've already done... such is ministry, I guess, but it's still nice to just go to church and not have to run the show. FUEL has moved from the coffee shop into the worship center at The Crossing, which, I'll admit, made me a little disappointed at first because I really wanted one of those incredible smoothies, but at the same time it's awesome that it's grown so big since I left that they can't fit everyone into the coffee shop! It's refreshing to see a church that actually WANTS to grow and change, not just in words or on paper, but in real life. A church that also EXPECTS people to grow and change, instead of just go through life on autopilot. I signed up for a couple different time slots for the 24/7 Week of Prayer that FUEL is attempting here in a couple weeks... a week straight of unbroken prayer... aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It's so good to be home.

Tonight Kristi is coming to town, even though the price-gougers want your left kidney to fill up your car. It will be good to see her again. Tonight is also the best part about being in a wedding... rehersal dinner! A wedding Saturday, and a picnic at Siloam Springs on Sunday... looks like a good weekend ahead.

Distraction....

2005-08-30T16:21:00.000-05:00

We love to be distracted, it's our nature... it's our nature to hide from real life. There is an Alanis Morissette song that says "why are you so petrified of silence? Well here, can you handle this?......................................................................................................... ...did you think about your bills, your Ex, your deadlines or when you think you're gonna die? Or did you long for the next distraction?"
I love that song because she says it perfectly for me, we need distraction because life is so hard to handle... we're petrified of silence, of being forced to deal with the Here & Now. Potato guns, guitars, road trips and video games are my distractions, the things I've been hiding behind so that I don't have to look at the Here & Now, because in all honesty the Here & Now is terrifing. I don't know where I'm going to live, where I'm going to work, how I'm going to pay my bills another month from now. I can't afford to live here, but I can't afford to move away either. I'm trying desperately to hear Gods leading through all of this but I think we all can agree it isn't always easy to hear Him whispering... especially when we can't stand to sit in the silences and listen... because I DO think about my bills, my deadlines, and I DO long for the next distraction. I picture God opening his lips to speak to me only to be drowned out by the explosion and laughter of a potato gun, or the electronic whirr of the Gamecube being fired up, I imagine God painting me a picture of my future but I can't see past the glare of stage lights off my guitar... I'm not saying any of these things are wrong, sometimes it's so very good to just unplug and have a good time, put off the problems for a while and come back to them refreshed... but that only works for so long before the Here & Now catches up to you again, before the terrifing silence falls again and you have to sit in pain and listen for the whisper, the hint, the small light in the distance that God will use to lead you on, out of the wilderness.
So here I sit... in the silence...

I May Have Created A Monster...

2005-08-29T16:34:00.000-05:00

This past Saturday Josh came to the apartment and we constructed yet another potato gun for him to take back to the dorm. It took us a couple hours to get the supplies and build the thing, but when we were done we loaded up the guns and 20 lbs worth of potatos and headed out to Erica's for some range testing into the cornfield. the 1.0 was a huge success! I recon that if the gun were mostly level and I could find just the right amount of fuel I could launch a potato about a football field with it! The second gun, with the experimental hinge/clasp design was a complete failure... I guess the force of the explosion is more then the seal can hold and all the pressure leaks out the back.
At one point Josh nearly blew my head completely off when his gun "unexpectedly" went off and flew out of his hands... I survived with no long term effects. At any rate, Josh is now obsessed with finding out just what is possible to shoot from a potato gun... I'm afraid that this, combined with the fact that he now lives in a dorm full of excessively hyperactive people may result in unfathomed loss of life and property... however, I'm sure this would be a great time to buy stock in the state of Idaho.

PVC Ballistics: Fun For the Whole Family!

2005-08-26T02:22:00.000-05:00

8am. This morning was the first time I've ever tried to make a left turn out of my apartment complex on a school day... it was horrible... between the school busses and the yuppies in BMWs all thinkin gthey own the road it was almost enough to make me turn around and go back to bed, but I had things to do.
I've come to realize that the company is far more important than whatever it is you are doing. This morning, I'll admit, I was really excited about the pancakes with hot maple syrup, eggs over easy, bacon and sweet tea, but it would've just been another meal if it weren't shared with a friend.
BJ and I spent part of the morning at Cracker Barrel this morning, even though I'm not a huge fan of breakfast, or of mornings in general, but it was a nice break from the monotony that has become my life. We talked about Rain, about music and ministry and the greatness of someone actually eating their way across Illinois in a single day. Its good to know that ministry doesn't end just because your job does... God will always find someone else to sign the paycheck, I mean, Paul made tents, Andrew, James and John spent their days fishing, who am I to think I need to work for a church? I mean, where is that in the Bible anyway? I've read the Bible cover to cover five times and never once did I read the words "youth minister", or "worship minister" or "senior minister" or any other job we have made up, why do we think that our job title determines what we do with our lives?
It was a good breakfast, it completely changed the course of my day. I was planning on learning this Jeniffer Knapp song that I'm supposed to play in a wedding next weekend, but instead I constructed.... a potato gun. Yes, a potato gun. At some point in our conversation the topic of potato guns came up and it planted a splinter in my mind, I couldn't think of anything else! After breakfast I headed to Menards to stock up on supplies. I had a rough idea of the mechanics of a potato gun, but I'd never actually reverse-engeniered one so I needed to do some research. Thanks to a few helpful websites I came up with a stack of diagrams and I kind of averaged them all out and came up with, what I though was a good design.
It took me about $20 in supplies and 2 hours of work, but I got it done.
The 1.0 model features a 4" x 16" combustion chamber, a 2" x 48" barrel, a threaded endcap and a twist ignition. I have yet to actually do any live fire testing on the completed gun, but I've already started on the 1.1 model with some major design improvements like a shoulderstock, trigger ignition and hinge/latch endcap. I even had enough spare parts to complete 90% of the 2.0 model which is actually an internal combustion marshmallow cannon than a potato gun, but I havn't been able to actually launch anythgin with it... the first test subject, an unfortunate little marshmallow that I named George, more or less disintegrated before he left the barrel leaving a sticky marshmallow-guts mess in the all over the internal business of the gun and shot flames out the back when I went to reload... obviously version 2.0 has some logistics problems that need to be worked out.
ANYway, there are som epictures if you want to build your own... maybe we can race them or something.

Well, it's late, Leno is on for the second time tonight so I'm going to bed.

I'm out.

2005-08-26T02:17:00.001-05:00

Everything you need to launch a potato:

2005-08-26T02:17:00.000-05:00

The twist ignition is a flint-sparker from a Coleman type lantern... with a little reassembly.

2005-08-26T02:16:00.000-05:00

This is the combustion chamber.

2005-08-26T02:14:00.000-05:00

1.0 without all the 'flair'.

2005-08-26T02:12:00.000-05:00

The completed yet untested potato gun model 1.0.

Hey Terrorists!

2005-08-23T12:08:00.000-05:00

Okay, if, by chance, you are a terrorist and you are reading this, I have something to say to you...

"GROW UP, GO HOME AND GET A JOB!"

MUSTANG FOR SALE

2005-08-21T21:39:00.000-05:00

Yes, that's right, the mustang is for sale. **sob, sniff** With my recent employment difficulties and a wicked spike in my insurance rates it's come down to this... a sign in the back window. It's been fun, but there is a time for everything, to laugh to cry, to live to die, to drive a mustang and to drive a rusted out '76 Vega.
If you, or anyone you know, is interested, she's a 2002 with 42,000 miles (mostly highway miles). Blood red with khaki interior. V6 automatic with power everything. CD player and built in mini-bar. ...okay, I lied, there's no mini-bar. She's got a little problem with a fuel sensor but that'll be taken care of before I sell it. Anyone interested?

...as promised.

2005-08-21T19:25:00.000-05:00

I promised Kristi that I'd get out of the house and do something instead of sitting on the sofa being grumpy and depressed, so here I sit, in the big comfortable leather chair at Panera, my new favorite eating establishment thanks to it's free WiFi.
At any rate, yes, I guess I am grumpy and a little depressed. Friday I was sick all freaking day, my stomach and hear were waging war against something and for a while I thought the something was going to win. Yesterday was a little better, but I just felt completely wasted so I spent the day on the sofa with my rabbit and the gamecube. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst stomach ache I've ever had and so I didn't get to sleep well untill after 4am. I slept through church this morning and spent the day, again, on the sofa.
Kristi called from Alaska this afternoon and made me promise to get off my lazy butt and get out of the apartment, so, what better cure for being in the dumps than a tall cafe mocha, a good CD and a spin on the blog machine?
CD REVIEW: I had mentioned in a previous post that I picked up Snow Patrol for $9 at Target with some of my birthday money, and I just wanted to tell everyone that they should go out and buy it IMMEDIATELY. Someplace between Switchfoot and Coldplay you'll find this melodic, driving band that hasn't left my CD player since last weekend. Two thumbs up. Buy it today.
Here is something that I've noticed since getting fired; People are very quick to pretend to be your friends and just as quick to forget all about you when they don't feel quite so obligated to be friendly. When you work for their church they invite you out to dinner, talk to you as if you are interesting, tell you how glad they are that you do such a good job with their children. As soon as someone gets their nickers in a twist and boots you out it's like you've fallen off the earth, you never existed, and it's completely taboo to have anything to do with you. Maybe I'm imagining things, but my phone hasn't run in two weeks except for the occasional call from my girlfriend or my mom. Maybe everyone is mad at me, maybe they just don't know what to say. I have no idea what reasons were given for my absence the past couple Sundays, maybe everyone thinks I freaked out and ran away to the Yukon to pilot a dogsled, I mean, who knows? I'm sure nobody knows the real reasons for my "resignation", since I've never gotten a straight answer myself, but it still makes me wonder why all those people who I've laughed with and prayed with have completely disappeared now that I'm not a part of the club... It's an interesting perspective, to be on the outside looking in, and to be completely honest with you, I know exactly why people look at The Church and decide to stay home, there's entirely too much drama. Life is rough enough without having to deal with politics at church as well. When are people going to realize that we all only get one shot at life, we are all in this together? I'm only 26 years old, but I've seen enough to know that we seriously don't have time to play these games. Why does it matter what church we go to on Sunday mornings, where we work, what kind of music we like, what color(s) our hair is, what we have pierced, tattooed or painted? People are people, Jesus loves us all the same and there are too many problems in the world for us to worry about our stupid pride. Everyone just grow up.
That being said, I'm feeling a bit better :) okay, ranting over. I'm going to go find someone who needs help and see what I can do about it.

Prayer Request

2005-08-15T23:20:00.000-05:00

I just got off the phone with Kristi. She's leaving at 8:30 in the morning to fly to Alaska to visit a friend. If everyone could PLEASE pray for her I would appreciate it! Pray for her safety while she's traveling and that she doesn't get lost or miss a flight or anything like that. Also just pray that it will be a good refreshing trip for her, that she can have a break from me and all my crap. THANX!

Thoughts About Life

2005-08-15T13:08:00.000-05:00

Well, I had a GREAT trip to Iowa this weekend! Made it up to DesMoines Friday night and Kristi had made dinner :) Didn't do much that night except sit around watching TV. Saturday Kristi took me out to eat at Joe's Crab Shack for my birthday. I had Jumbo Gumbo Shrimp, it was fantabulous! Then we went shoppiong because Kristi is going to Alaska this week to visit a friend and, being a girl, she had a shopping list three pages long. It was okay though, cuz I used my birthday money to come home with the ORIGINAL "Weezer" CD and "Snow Patroll". Saturday night we got The Pacifier on PPV, it was okay, but I'm really glad Jeni mixed up the theaters that night and I didn't have to pay $12 to see it there.
Sunday we went to church, then home for lunch then had to go to a funeral/memorial service for two of her grandma's sisters. After that we ran to DesMoines, hopped on a bus and went to the IOWA STATE FAIR!! It was fun, but after about 2 hours we were ready to leave. I ate a funnel cake, a hot dog and a strawberry smoothie... then I wanted to yak. We went home by way of Wal-Mart (for more shopping) then home where we just hung out for the rest of the day.
I headed home about 8:30 this morning and I'm now back in Quincy.
I had lots of driving time this weekend to think about life. Honestly, I had just written a HUGE post about what I think about churches and their complete lack of respect for youth ministers but I erased it up to here. If you want to know what I think, just ask me, I'll be so honest it will hurt, but sadly, if you havn't already noticed the problems, chances are nobody is gonna be able to explain them to you. I'll leave you with a rough quote from a fellow youth minister.. Some churches need to put up a fence and sell tickets as museums of the way churches were 60 years ago... It's a shame that some people are more concerned with preserving the way things were than with finding refreshment with the way things could be... Being a youth minister stinks because we sit back and observe and yet are completely unable to do anything about the problems we see... and here's a quote from me "people are dieing and going to Hell, it's a shame we spend so much time trying to keep church people happy."
That being said, I'm going to go look for a job outside of this christian bubble so I can actually do something good for the world. I leave you with the chorus from one of my favorite songs ever. It makes some people angry, but like my good friend Ricki used to say, "defensive = guilty".

"Looking through rose colored stained glass windows, never allowing the world to come in, seeing no evil and feeling no pain, making the light as it comes from within so dim."

Unemployment: Day Three

2005-08-12T01:06:00.000-05:00

I'm leaving in the morning to go visit Kristi in Des Moines for a few days. I'll be back the first part of next week. Peace.

Happy Birthday to ME!

2005-08-10T13:54:00.000-05:00

August 10, 1979 was the first day of my life, exactly 26 years ago today. I woke up this morning and several thoughts went through my head all at once...
- Woah, I slept on the sofa with the TV on.
- I don't have a job.
- Hey, it's my birthday!
- I've gotta pee.

So, yes, today is my birthday! I don't feel like I'm 26, and it doesn't really feel like my birthday.
A special THANK YOU goes out to BJ for the I.C. Mocha from Panera and a good conversation about life, ministry and the future. I'm now my own parachurch organization.
Last night was rough. I had to tell everyone what has happened. Talked to Jeni and Chris but they already knew. We didn't talk much about it, because there really wasn't a whole lot to say, no answers that I could give, but mostly because I was having a hard time keeping it together just sitting there. I talked to Erica on the phone but that didn't make it any easier. There are others I'll probably still need to talk to but I don't expect it will get any easier.
The only thing I can say is that I know enough to realize that ministry is bigger than a paycheck, I mean, when you work for a church the money is comming from God anyway, He just uses the church to sign the check. If it's Gods plan that I stay around here, that is awesome that I won't actually have to say goodbye to everyone! But, if He has a place for me somewhere else, that's okay too because it's all about Him and what He wants. Some people think it's about what the churches want, but it isn't at all, life, ministry, everything, it's all about what God wants for us and what He wants us to become. The lump of clay doesn't get to decide what it's molded into, it either lets it's self be molded or it dries up, cracks and falls apart on the floor. We are all being worked like clay right now, will we fight it and dry up or will we just relax and wait with excitement to see the artistry of God in our lives? I've made my choice.
I'm going to go get some job applications then I'm going to hit the driving range. Tonight is the first ever RAIN practice, and I'm excited! It will be so nice to be able to pour myself into something so pure and perfect as worship right now! No rules, no outline, no foot on my neck telling me how I should worship, what songs I should want to play, telling me I played to slow or too fast or that I moved my feet too much. Butta, you were right, you can't shake the 3DU. :)
I got fired, but the sky is blue, the sun is shining and God is still on His throne! I'm 26 years old, I've got plenty of friends even though they are scattered around the world, and I have no reason to be worried about today, tomorrow or any day after that. It's my birthday, and none of you can take it away!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> There is a NEW POLL >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Some Questions Have No Answers

2005-08-10T01:04:00.000-05:00

The day began as it normally does. I got up feeling pretty good, I went to the church to get a start on the mountain of stuff I needed to get done for fall. Less than an hour later I was being told that "the things I'm good at aren't the things the church wants" and then I was asked to resign. No warning. No hint that it was comming. No discussion. I'm 100% certain I know who is responsible but it doesn't even matter. I'm no longer the youth minister for Chatham Christian Church. To be completely honest, I don't really even care that they fired me for no good reason other than they just didn't want me anymore, what is breaking my heart is the fact that I have to leave behind the people I've met... the few people there who have actually acted like they were glad I came there in the first place, the students who I've gotten to know, gotten to love like they were my own kids or brothers & sisters... I can't begin to describe what it feels like to have life reach into your chest and rip out your heart like that... to suddenly realize that, once again, the people I love are being torn out of my life. The thought of quitting or running away or bailing out on someone makes me sick to my stomach and I just want to say to anyone from church reading this that I'm NOT leaving you because I wanted to. It makes me angry because the people who make the decisions are the least likely to be effected by those decisions...it makes me mad that I have to leave and look like the bad guy who ran out on everyone...
I hope I don't fall off the face of the earth, I didn't spend the last year getting to know all you guys just to leave... so please keep in touch!
While it's torture to have to leave the people, I can't say I'm all that upset about losing the job. No more complaints that I played a hymn too fast or played the wrong verses. No more complaints that my guitar is hurting peoples ears. No more complaints that I don't get excited enough about announcements. I mean, seriously, who cares? There are a lot of reasons why I won't miss my job, but it's disrespectful to make a list, so I won't... not to mention it would be pointless. I'll just say that I will really miss the people who bothered to get to know me.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!! I'm sorry I can't give you a good answer about why I'm leaving, I hate it, I hate feeling like I'm leaving you! I can't stand the thought of something happening to you or problems heaping up in your lives and not being there to help. I can't stand leaving you in someone elses hands to make sure that you grow deeper in your walk with God! I'm crying so hard right now it's getting hard to type, I wish I could get you all to understand how much I love you and how badly it hurts to be told that I'm not wanted. There is so much that I never got to teach you, so many places we never got to go. I hope and pray that I've done something in the last year that made a difference for you, something to prove I'm not the youth ministry failure I was told I was. I truly do love you all in a way that can only be from God, I would do anything for you and yet I'm not really allowed to anymore. Life is rough. If you didn't believe me when I said it at CIY I hope you will believe me now! If we don't have brothers and sisters to hang onto when life starts pushing we'll be in real trouble. I love you and I'm always praying for you.

Don't be strangers.

Grace & Peace

SOMEONE HELP!!!!

2005-07-28T14:34:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know the chances of this are slim, but I really need someone to pay $30 to go see Velvet Revolver with me on Aug 12 at the Illinois State Fair here in Springfield! I really want to go and see if I can get my picture taken with Slash, but I don't want to go by myself... anyone want to come along??

Don't Be Friendly, Be a Friend

2005-07-26T12:55:00.000-05:00

It's Tuesday. I havn't posted in over a week and a lot has happened that I should get you up to speed with, but before I do, there is something weighing heavily on my heart that I feel I need to discuss... the lunch-hour rush at Sub-Way. Seriously, there are three things that turn perfectly normal people into complete idiots: Alcohol, giving them a microphone/megaphone/walkie-talkie, and making them wait in line. I'm going to address the third issue, waiting in line. I visited Sub-Way for lunch today and honestly I was very disappointed with the suit in line in front of me. I've got a couple tips for people to keep in mind when visiting a restaurant at lunch time (or any time for that matter).
1) Know what you want BEFORE it's your turn to order.
2) Employees don't know where the meat comes from, they just heat it up and give it to you.
3) You are expected to pay the price on the board, you do not deserve a special deal just because you asked for one.
4) Do NOT attempt to pay for a 6 inch sub with a $100 bill at lunch time! And don't get all hissy when you're told they can't make change.
5) Honestly, nobody really cares if you are happy with the service or not, it's lunch time, we are all hungry. Asking to speak to the manager will only add one more to the list of people who hate you by now. You may think you're hot stuff in the office, but when you step out for lunch you are nothing but another swine bellied up to the trough, get used to the idea and stop wasting time for the rest of us!
...that being said...
The last week was awesome! Camp went really well, and I learned an important lesson about having mail forwarded when you move... left unattended it may find it's way into the hands of mischevious faculty members who really want you to end up in the pool every day after lunch.
I ran over my guitar with my car.
I threw an angry cat at Josh and it actually stuck! I laughed really hard.
Now I'm back in the office getting ready for VBS and CIY next week... man, I'll be so glad when July is over!
I rearranged the furnature in my office... it's a much happier place now.
Alright, I'm going to get back to work now. Stay cool my babies.

The Muscular Cyborg German Dudes Dance With Sexy French Canadians

2005-07-18T11:47:00.000-05:00

Hello All! Well, it's monday, day one of Niners camp! I'm currently hanging out in the sound booth during Missions time, making use of Lake Springfield Christian Assembly's new WiFi network... something that I can find no real reason to have, yet I'm very glad that it's here!
Any way, I hope you're all having a good week, I'm having ablast at camp, except for the fact that it feels like Satans armpit outside... and between the heat/humidity, the air conditioning, singing and yelling and sleepin gunder a fan my voice is about shot... I sound something similar Darth Vader with asthma, only without the cool echo effect. It's getting really hard to sing and I havn't even started teaching my class yet...
Last night I did the stupidest thing I've ever done... it was late, I was tired, it was past 'lights out' and I hadn't even been down to the dorms to find my bunk yet... I drove my car quietly down the road to the dorm. I opened the trunk to get my duffel bag but my old Jasmine guitar was in the way so I took it out, removed my duffel bag and shut the trunk. I remember thinking to my self "oh, I forgot to put the guitar back, that's okay, I'll get it when I come out." No big deal, I took my stuff inside, and got distraceted talking to some of the other faculty. I cam out, got in my car to take it back up the hill and when I backed up........ yes, I heared a crunch... the guitar had taken a Ford Mustang right across the neck. Luckily, this was my OLD guitar, the one I replaced with my new one, so I wasn't exactly broken up about it, but I did still like that guitar. Anyway, I got it out from under the car and put it in the trunk to take it up to the chapel. I got it in the light and realized the case was completely destroyed! Squashed flat, splintered, torn, bent, demolished. The hinges and clasps were ripped out of the wood... then I opened it up to discover the guitar... completely undamaged and STILL IN TUNE! That case was definately woth the $130 I complained about spending on it at the time. Tip for the day: you get what you pay for.

2005-07-14T15:22:00.000-05:00

HOORAY!!! NEW DAVE CROWDER!! That's right, after September 27th we'll have a whole new set of wonderful DCB songs to play into the ground!!

If I wasn't a Christian I'd Be a User...

2005-07-12T10:07:00.000-05:00

...or at least that's what I was told when I got to camp the other day... still not quite sure how to take that...
Anyway, it's been a really long time since I posted anything on here and the few of you who do read this were probably starting to think I'd pulled a B-Lo and droped off the face of the earth. I promise you I'm still here, securely stuck to terra firma. I have, however, been as busy as a mom with company on the way (I'm not the only one who gets that joke, am I?). ANYway, I'm right on the middle of my busiest month of the year! I believe that Bible scholars have made a drastic mistake, and when they translated that in the last days Satan would be loosed for 1,000 years to wreak havock on mankind, it ACTUALLY should have read that Satan would be released for the month of July to wreak havock on Ryan Green... I don't speak Greek, but I'm sure it was a simple mistake to make... ANYway, our senior minister is on vacation last week, this week and the next, meaning I'm the only one working in the office. I'm aslo preaching, spending next week at camp, the following week doing VBS and the following week at CIY at SIU. I've got a mountain of stuff to get done, which is exactly why I'm posting on my blog.
It's a hurricane outside! Well, not really, I guess... but what is left of Denis is definately raining on my parade. Not that I'm complaining! It's been so freaking hot for so freaking long that I was starting to evaporate into something similar to steam with sideburns, making it difficult to play my guitar. At any rate, it's raining today, finally, which had the unexpected side effect of making me subconciously think that it's winter outside and I need coffee and a long book. Thanks to Starbucks I've got a nice Cafe Mocha on my desk but WAY too much to do to even think about reading.
Contagious Prayer Sort-Of Worked Sunday night at camp we replaced the typical campfire service with a hands on workshop on worship, and ways you can worship without music (Haleluja! Who agrees with me that we sing entirely too much in church?) Anyway, we had the kids go into the chapel after snack time (this is highschool week) and sort of mull about with some music playing. Since nobody told them what to do they continued to mull. Four of us grabbed one student each and asked them to pray. We didn't go to the corner or the other room, we kneeled down with them right there and prayed, right in front of their friends. After praying for a minute or two we instructed them to do the same thing to someone else, and instruct them to continue with yet another person... sort of like blob tag, only with prayer, each couple deviding into two groups, then four, then eight and so on. After praying with a couple students I steped back and just watched the process go on it's own. It took about 20 minutes to reach the desired effect, and it was really fascinating to watch the different reactions of the kids when asked to pray with someone (a friend, an adult, a total stranger) for no real reason, right in front of everyone else. Some would cooperate and split up and find another ro pray with, some went right back to talking wither their friends only to be asked to pray again by someone else! Eventually a small group began to sing Amazing Grace and soon invited another small group to join, then another, then another untill all 90 students plus adult faculty formed one large circle singing Amazing Grace... all on their own, there was no plan, it just happened. I read the verse in Romans that says "As I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow before me, and every tongue will sing praises" ...I hope the kids made the connection. It took 20 minutes to get 90 students to pray together all on their own, it could have worked better, but for something I just sort of made up on the spot I was really impressed! Contageous Prayer works, but it would probably work better with a college age group... and adult leadership that is more mature than the students.
Well, I guess I'll be on my way, I've got 15 days worth of stuff to do and 4 days to do it in. Rock n Roll.

From The Desk of Ryan Green

2005-07-06T11:36:00.000-05:00

I'm just taking a short break from writing my mass sermonage for the next couple weeks, thought I'd take a moment to say HEY to all my faithful blog-readers out there, so, hello to both of you!
I'm back at my desk after a great 7-4 weekend. I'm the only one in the office for the next 2 1/2 weeks so I'm kickin it at my desk, shoes off with the computer blasting a random playlist of Damien Rice, Coldplay, Wilco, The Normals, Five for Fighting, and I've got a little Counting Crows and Black Eyed Peas tossed in there as well. I really shouldn't be taking a break because I've got two sermons to write and two weeks worth of camp lessons to get ready and only three days to do it all, but I've been working furiously since 9:00 this morning, so I think I'll be alright. Tonight I've got "band practice" for camp, so I've really got no free time to speak of for the rest of the day. I'm excited... but not really.
One top of all the other books I'm reading right now, I started reading "When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops" by George Carlin... it's a terrible book, it's not at all P.C. and I don't officially recomend it to anyone, but it's had me laughing.
Well, I don't mean to cut this short, but I'm going to head to SubWay for a toasted chicken-bacon-ranch on white...
Peace Out My Babies.

Victor Wooten Rocked.....the sidewalk?

2005-07-02T08:20:00.000-05:00

Yes music fans, that's right, last night I stood in the presence of a modern ledgend, the one, the only, the Funktapus himself, Mr. Victor Lemante Wooten. Strode and I sached on up to the Center for the Arts about five till eight, laughing inwardly at the stoners and hippies gathering outside. About 8:15 we decide to go ahead and sit down so we make our way into the thetre just as strobe lights and recorded voices fill the hallway and a man tells us all that it's the fire alarm and we all need to go outside! No big deal, still an hour before the concert was supposed to start. Knowing this meant that the fire department had to come, inspect the building and reset the system, Strode and I took a walking tour of downtoun.
We made it back to the theatre about the time the FD was pulling away and got back in line. This is when we found out that there was no fire, there was no smoke, just a stage tech who was running a fog machine!
Took our seats and waited. Soon The Man Himself took the stage and began filling our minds with ruffs and beats that I'm still trying to wrap my brain around. The most impressive aspect of Wooten's playing, to me, is his soloing. At one point he was in thde middle of a solo and threw his hands up in the air and yelled "Seven!" and began to play his solo in 7/8 time. A moment later he yelled "Five!" and played in 5/4, then 3 then 1 then then transitioned flawlessly in to one of his myriad of mind-boggling musical feats.
About 2/3 of the way through the concert the fire alarms went off again (hooray center for the arts) and victor told everyone to please get out of the building. With a mumble and a groan we all went back outside. Strode and I walked across the street to escape the crowd and as soon as we did we hear syncronized clapping coming around the corner and we see victor and his entire band walking down the street toward the crowd! They stoped on the sidewalk as the crowd quickly gathered around (Strode & I included) and soon an accapella version of 'can't hold no groove' was floating through the crowd! I think this was the greatest part of the night, it reminded me of the street concerts you find up around Chicago. Victor and band had everyone clapping and singing parts along with them until someone from the crown produced an old bass and a batterie powered amp and victor played an impromptu set right there on the sidewalk in front of the parking garage! Before long traffic was even backed up down 6th street because of the crowd and the cars who stoped to listen in! People were hanging over the walls of the garage, climbing light poles, it was great!
The FD rolled away again and we all went back inside, and I think the interuption did wonders for the band! When we came back in they were readdy to rock! Nobody sat in seats anymore, everyone crowded the stage as Victor thre together a set featuring 'Fire', 'Brick House' and 'Play That Funky Music White Boy', along with some cleverly placed Zeppelin funk-covers! Victor's brother Reggie made a guitar make sounds I've never heared as well as busted out an actual 10-string bass!
It was a phenomil concert, definately one I'll not soon forget. If you didn't make it, find a way to catch victor someplace along his Soul Circus tour, whatever it costs, however far you have to drive, it will be worth it.

I am outstanding in my field... but all I can see is corn.

2005-07-01T13:11:00.000-05:00

This weekend has started out on an excelent note and looks to be holding that note for about 172,800 measures (that's about how many measures I figure are in four days). Woke up in a good mood this morning because tonight at 8pm I'll be 6 rows away form the infamous VICTOR WOOTEN, a.k.a., "The Funktapus". I'm stoked. Strode is gonna come down, go eat at Head West, it'll be great. Ran downtown to find the Center for the Arts and and pick up my tickets and then ran by the mall to see if there were any cheap CDs at the Mustard Seed and who do I spy, with my little eye, but Casey, Molly and Emily Bell trucking up the escalator!! We stoped and talked for about half an hour. Turns out they are leaving in three weeks and need more support money, so if you have any extra money,send it to them!
Last night I got a phone call from none other than Caleb Butler! His family is having a reunion this weekend at LSCA here in Chatham so it will be cool to see him again. Manana Kristi will be arriving to spend the weekend, which will be good. Sunday after church we're heading to Q-Town for the 4th. I love fireworks. Then Tuesday afternoon I get to hang out with Keith for a while.... I'm excited!
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In other news, I'm about 50% done recording my CD! In a couple weeks I should be ready to send it off to be manufactured then it will hit the shelves... or at least an old card table at camp.
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I may soon be the worship leader for a 'Gen X' worship gathering here in Springfield! I'm pretty pumped about that as well!
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I have HUGE lambchop sideburns. I didn't want to shock everyone by taking my entire beard off at once, so I'm gonna do it in stages.
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August 7, FREE JARS OF CLAY concert @ DecaturFest 2005! I'll be there, will you?
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Alright, that's all I've got. Grace & Peace my friends.

NBC Loses 50 Billion Cool Points

2005-06-25T22:04:00.000-05:00

I just watched the stupidest TV show ever... it was an entire hour about the DaVinci Code and how so many people believe it, and what on Earth are we going to do if it turns out to be true... NBC loses 50 billion cool points just for airing this trash. I can't believe that there are people out there who have studied the Bible enough to make this story sound plausible, and yet not enough to realize that IT'S FICTION!!! Here's my opinion about this whole thing... The book is all about the Catholic church's attempt to cover up the fact that Jesus and Mary M. were married and had a daughter and after Jesus death Mary and "Sara" moved to France and eventually this family intermarried with Franch royalty. The way I see it, it would have helped quite a lot if Jesus had been able to set an example for us to follow of what the life of a good husband/father looked like. If this happened it wouldn't be sacreligious as everyone says, it would have been very helpfull and I'm sure would have been included throughout sripture, but, obviously, it isn't. If you read the DaVinci Code and really believe that Jesus and Mary were married because in DaVinci's 'Last Supper' painting the outline of Jesus and the person to his right forms an 'M' for 'married' then raise your hand and Tommy will come back there and hit you on the head with a tac hammer because you're a retard. Seriously, you can read the book if you like a laugh, but don't bring the average I.Q. of the human race to single digits by swallowing any of it.

BUY A 3DU CD TODAY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

2005-06-24T16:30:00.000-05:00

I'm Bakin' Like a Toasted Cheese!

2005-06-23T16:09:00.000-05:00

It's hot. That's about all I've got to say... but not completely all I've got to say. We've been painting the high school classroom at church this week... day two and we're done actually painting!!!
Yesterday we worked on the room from about 8:30 till 5 then we had a swimming party at the Hubers because Erica is house sitting while they are on vacation... i definately need a pool of my own someday...
In rabbit news: Hollister is doing a wonderful job at learning how to behave himself! He's doing a pretty good job using a litter box, he hasn't been chewing on anything but his toys and he's becoming more friendly about playing with people instead of just freaking out and running into the walls. He still doesn't know his name, but he does know that if he comes to you when you pat the floor he'll get a treat. for the most part I think he just likes to have some space to run and jump (which he does constantly) and have the option of coming over to you and being held instead of the little crowded box he was in at the pet store.
I'm tired... I came home for lunch and cashed out on the floor and almost didn't kame it back to church to finnish painting... it's so hot outside and it's so nice inside now that I finally turned on the AC, all I want to do is crash on the floor for a few hours then go swimming one last time before the Hubers get back... but first I have to take the Jr Highers from church to play put-put... I don't even know how many, if any, will show up, but I guess I'll find out in a little while.
3 Days Under CDs Now Available on CDBaby.com
For anyone out there who always wanted a 3DU CD (featuring yours truely on bass) but were never able to get your sticky paws on one, here is your chance! CDs are now sold on CDBaby! Just click the picture of the album cover to the right! Along with ours, there are THOUSANDS of indipendant CDs for sale on there, and some of them are pretty good! They have soundclips and everything so you can hear before you buy! Load up your shopping cart... but start with a 3DU cd first!

2005-06-19T07:40:00.000-05:00

Kristi and I went for a walk at Lincoln Memorial GArdens yesterday. Here are some of the pictures we took!

2005-06-19T07:39:00.000-05:00

2005-06-19T07:38:00.002-05:00

2005-06-19T07:38:00.001-05:00

2005-06-19T07:38:00.000-05:00

2005-06-19T07:37:00.001-05:00

2005-06-19T07:37:00.000-05:00

2005-06-19T07:36:00.000-05:00

2005-06-19T07:34:00.000-05:00

This is my new friend. His name is Hollister.

Victor Wooten In Springfield!!!

2005-06-14T15:29:00.000-05:00

Yes, you heard corectly, Victor Wooten will be playing a solo concert in Springfield, Illinois on Friday, July 1st! Tickets are still available and are $26 each... I'm there, call me if you want in. Friends are welcome to crash at my place if you need to.

I'm Tired of Being Busy All the Time.

2005-06-14T09:54:00.000-05:00

I just got back from a week in Siesta Key, but I feel like I never left the office... Vacation was fun but just as busy as when I'm not on vacation, and now that I'm back I've got stuff piling up to suffocate me... I've got something going on every day and night this week, in some cases two or three things... I'm actually pretty thankful that our CIY trip has been moved to August because there isn't any possible way I could have been ready to go to Colorado by Sunday.
On top of everything else I've got to clean out my turtle box, the 'check engine' light is on in my car so I've gotta get that in someplace, I'm flat broke and I've gotta make one of my stupid tax payments this month, I'm COMPLETELY out of food because I'm completely out of money (thanks to taxes, cars, bills and Siesta Key). I still feel like I need a vacation, but the next one is months away at the earliest...
I read an article in Men's Journal about how it can be very benneficial to run away for a year... they say it does wonders for the mind, body and soul and can even boost your career with the added reputation of being an eccentric, experienced world traveler... I think it sounds like a plan... ...clear my calendar...I hear Fiji calling...

Dag Nabit!

2005-06-13T14:49:00.000-05:00

Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing that I could get some freakin' Jack Johnson tickets!!! I had my heart all set on seeing him this summer in Kansas City, but I just went to order tickets and they were sold out! I went to plan B and tried to order tickets for two nights later in Chicago and again, I got shut down... turns out his entire summer tour is COMPLETELY SOLD OUT! I'm angry. My entire summer is ruined! We may as well just jump ahead to september because the next three months are pointless... Strode, sorry man... maybe DMB is playing someplace?

Free Internet for the World!

2005-06-13T12:37:00.000-05:00

So I got back from vacation only to discover that someone in my apartment complex has installed an unrestricted wireless internet connection! My living room is right on the edge of it's range, but I can get a fairly fast connection every so often... I guess the wind has to be blowing just right or something... I don't know who's it is, but for the time being, I've got free internet! Woo Hoo!

Who Invited Arlene?

2005-06-10T13:12:00.000-05:00

By now you may have flipped past the weather chanel and noticed a big green swirly thing over Florida and most of the Gulf... that's Arlene, the tropical storm that rained on me at the beach this morning. The beach was almost deserted and by the time I got to the water I knew why. The water was getting warmer and the waves were growing taller and taller... It wasn't too bad for swimming but a bit too rough for snorkeling, so today has seen a lot of TV.
Yesterday we went to Busch Gardens in Tampa, and it was alright. Arlene showed up about lunchtime but for the few of us who stuck around the park wasn't even close to crowded for the rest of the day. I'd show you some pictures but for some reason Blogger isn't letting me post anything but words. ANYway, florida is fun, but I'm glad I don't live here all year, this whole 'rainy season' thing has got me depressed.
Wednesday we went to Myakka River State Park and I almost captured a wild armadillo (I'm kicking myself for not trying a little harder to hang onto it now). I saw several alligators when waded out into the swamp, but fortunately none of them tried to eat me.
Well, I'm gonna go play in the tropical storm now.

A Picture Share!

2005-06-08T09:15:00.000-05:00

Greetings From Florida!

2005-06-07T21:24:00.000-05:00

Hey everybody, just taking a quick second to update you on my vacation!
We left illinois and made it as far as Nashville before God made us stop for the night by unpluging a wire in our engine. Caleb, I was going to call you and let you know that I was enjoying your wonderful Nashville hospitality but I didn't really get the chance. Anyway, everything was fixed in the morning and we made it the rest of the way and got to Sarasota about 3 am. I spent all day today on the beach at Siesta Key. Now I'm tired so I'm gonna bail out. peace.

A Picture Share!

2005-06-07T21:20:00.000-05:00

A Picture Share!

2005-06-07T17:30:00.000-05:00

Palm trees prety... :)

A Picture Share!

2005-06-07T13:25:00.000-05:00

Ben and jerrys!

A Picture Share!

2005-06-07T09:40:00.000-05:00

Ive arrived!

In My Head This Week

2005-06-01T10:52:00.000-05:00

I've read the first 3/4 of Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" about four times so I've decided to hammer through it tonight. It's an awesome book and I don't have a good excuse for never getting to the end. Read it. In the line up after BLJ is Miller's second effort "Searching For God Knows What", which I'm hoping will be as awesome as his first.
In the CD player this week, other than Coldplay is a band called Altar Bridge, which is apparently Creed with a new lead singer... I'm not sure if they're good or not, it's going to take a little more airtime to know for sure.
I finally broke down and got myself one of those cd players that play mp3 disks to take on my trip next week, and it's wonderful! I fit all the music I most often listen to on five cds! The only thing better would be a 40G iPod, but some of us have to operate on a budget.
I wrote a song for Kristi and it made her cry. I said I was sorry and I wouldn't do it again, but aparently girls like to cry. I'll never understand girls.

...and then Meg painted her mouse blue...

2005-06-01T09:51:00.000-05:00

I'm back in Chatham today, after a long but awesome weekend. Kristi came down to visit so I met her in Quincy on Friday night. Saturday my parents had a garage sale and then K and I headed back to Chatham for Church Sunday morning. Sunday we went BACK to Quincy and spent memorial day there. Sunday night we went to a party for my good friend Edwin who moved to Michigan early yesterday morning to give God is talents at a YMCA camp for the summer. The party was crazy, I saw dozens of people I havn't seen or talked to in over a year! I really miss all my friends from back home, I really miss the feeling of family I had there... we were nothing but a bunch of college kids (even though half of us were much older than that), but it really did feel more like a family than anything else. Now, many of us have moved on and moved away, and those who are left will be leaving shortly, I guess I was just the first to go. Life changes so fast, and we never realize what we have untill it's all stripped away from us, untill we have to pack up and move and say goodbuy to all our friends... again. It never stops. I guess that's what is meant by the phrase 'this world is not my home', because so far I havn't found anyplace like home, I havn't found anyplace where I can just be, and not worry about when I'll be moved again... I'm such a sap...
ANYway, Kristi left (another person who has to keep leaving) Monday afternoon after lunch at my Aunts house. Mark, Meg and I went to see Madagascar (funny, but wait and rent it), then went to Marks and spent some quality time with the hot tub. Then Meg showed me her mice that Mark got her for her birthday, and she dicided it was a good idea to get food colouring and paint one of them blue... it was funny to watch, but I felt a little sorry for the mouse...
Well, that was my weekend... I'm bumbed again, but what else is new? Peace.

My Drepression Has Left Me Bleeding Music

2005-05-27T11:31:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm not so bummed today. I sat up untill about 1am this morning recording music. I ended up with rough recordings of three complete songs and little snippits of a few others. It was torture to put the guitar down, take off the headphones and crawl into bed, and even harder to leave the house this morning to come in to the office... now I'm sitting here humming through ideas, scribbling lyrics down on a post-it that I'm sure to lose before I ever get a chance to get any of it on tape... In my depression yesterday I fired up WinAmp and loaded up some Coldplay which led to some Damien Rice which led to some Five for Fighting and Keane. On the drive home I was rockin the Normals and then Jars of Clay and Andrew Peterson. I guess the key is to surround myself with hyper-creativity and (after reading Ret's post) let my conciousness go off the map. Nate, if you read this, we need to get together sometime and work this stuff into something keepable. I'm gonna go listen to some Beck now, maybe some Norah Jones or Jamie Cullum... I'm out.

Today is Eric Stelk Day!

2005-05-27T10:06:00.000-05:00

Yes, you heard me right, today is Eric Stelk Day! Who is Eric Stelk? Well, I'll tell you...
... A long time ago in a city far far away greedy music industry executives started issuing lawsuits against 12 year old girls, nuns, college students and the like for downloading music (via Napster, KazAa, etc.). While I wasn't really afraid of these threats I got tired of listening to everyone's crap about how evil it was and that downloading music was an express ticket to the firey pits of Hell... so I joined the BMG music club. (even though BMG doesn't offer the music I was downloading: live bootlegs, rare radio performances, etc, but nobody seems to care).
Anyway, I joined BMG so I could get CDs at the PRICES THEY SHOULD COST IN THE STORES and not have to put up with the record industry price gouging us all to supposedly combat the loss of revenue from all the 12 year old girls, nuns and college students who were downloading music instead of buying it... or so they claimed. BMG is great because when you join you get 12 CDs for about $45, then you cancel your membership and sign up again and get the whole deal all over again! (I asked them, it's legal). You get lots of free CDs for joining, all you have to do is pay the shipping/handling fee of $2.83 per CD. King of expensive for mailing a CD, but hey, it's $2.83 for a CD! Enter our friend Eric Stelk. He takes BMG to court claiming they are charging unfair s/h fees! He said the fee was actually used to purchase all the materials used to make the shipping boxes, which is a product, not a service and therefore "shipping & Handling" was false advertising... oddly enough, HE WON THE CASE!
Now, every member of BMG, or anyone who was a member between 1997 and 2005, gets two CDs for $4.00 each and there are NO SHIPPING CHARGES! Here's the greatest part, if you are still in the middle of your "buy one at regular price to get the rest of your free CDs" deal, this $4/no shipping thing counts to fulfill your contract! Free CDs, here I come! Hooray for Eric Stelk and his crazy idea that actually worked!

Depression = Creativity

2005-05-26T10:05:00.000-05:00

I'm depressed. I don't know why, exactly, I just am.... sort of like the world is a big wet blanket thrown over me and I can't seem to shake it off... At first I thought I was just having a bad day and it would go away by lunchtime, but that was three days ago and the clouds are still here... I think I've discovered a relation between my depression and my creativity because in the last three days I've filled three pages in a sketchbook, written five songs and started writing a book... ironically I don't have any motivation to get anything done, but I keep doing stuff. Last night I was feeling really bummed so I made my way up to Starbucks with my laptop and spent 2 1/2 hours working on the same bottle of IZZE Sparkling Clementine. Everyone I talked to yesterday seemed to tick me off for one reason or another, except for Kristi and the girl at Starbucks that offered to close the shades so the sun wouldn't be in my eyes. I'm exceedingly happy that my vacation is only one more week away, if I don't get a breather soon I'm just going to freak out and move to Fiji. Tonight is "band practice" for camp (which is an entirely other fiasco in it's self), but at the moment I really couldn't care less if anyone even shows up or not. Honestly, I'm to the point where that is my attitude toward almost everything, I just really don't care. I don't like feeling this way, I'm a happy, relaxed, laid back person, it doesn't suit me to be all bummed out and stuff, but, that's the way things are going right now. If you talk to me today, or anytime untill I'm out of my slump, I may be a jerk to you, if so, I'm sorry, just tell me to grow up and then kick me in the knee. In the meantime I'm going to go listen to some Coldplay and think about everything I'm not going to be doing on vacation.

What Do Crab Legs, Guitars and Green Pepper Rings have in common? Yesterday.

2005-05-22T19:47:00.000-05:00

The final weekend in the three part series of marathon weekends has passed. Friday night Strode came down to visit and we hit Head West for dinner. The employees were having a “normal” day so they weren’t really very entertaining, but Jared did have a stroke of brilliance when he came up with his idea for a new restaurant:

Peanut Butter & Deli: A Name That Sticks!

Basic concept is a deli with, obviously, deli sandwiches but also specialize in every type of PBJ sandwiches you can fathom: Crust or no, any type of bread, toasted or not, peanut butter, pecan butter, pistachio butter, whatever, any kind of jelly or fruit preserves, add-ons like bananas, chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, pickles, whatever you can imagine! Name your PB/J ratio, 50/50, 20/80, whatever you want! I think it’s a stellar idea.

After the brainstorming at HW we swung by my old house to say hi to Scott… who is even stranger than I thought because he now eats large amounts of dried seaweed…
…anyway, we made it back to ’the beach’ and Jeni and Erica came over (Jared and Erica are old camp buddies or something) and just sat around watching TV and stuff till about 2am.

Jared and I hit the road at 7:30 Saturday morning and drove the 90 minutes to Hannibal to meet Nathan and Anastasia then tore down the highway to St. Louis. We ate lunch at Joe’s Crab Shack (try the Jumbo Bayou Shrimp, it’s great!) then we hopped down the road to The Guitar Center where we burned another three hours. Happily I walked away with a brand new Koa/Cedar Takamine G-Series guitar. I had to buy a case and a tuner pedal to get the sale price/promotion deal, but it was well worth it. I was ready to go, but we spent another 90 minutes waiting for Nate to decide if he was going to buy a guitar or not. He decided not and so we made the two hour drive from St. Louis to Columbia.

We had an hour or two to kill before dinner so we made out way downtown and spent some time walking around, checking things out, remembering back in the day when we hung out there all the time, wishing we lived in a town that had a cool downtown area like Columbia. After wasting some more time we met Ricki, Samantha, Andy, Echo and Lauren at Murry’s for ’Good Food & Good Jazz’. Murry’s is the greatest place on Earth! Strode and I went there every Saturday night the last two years we were in college. Saturday nights is live jazz with the Tom Andes Trio and they make a fantastic Lemon Pesto Chicken and something called Broch’s Green Pepper Rings, which is battered and deep fried green pepper slices smothered in powdered sugar (I know, it sounds gross, but it’s great!) It was good to see all my old friends again (well, not all of them, Casey and Scott stood us up) and make it back to one of my favorite hang-outs in the world.

We left Murry’s about 10:20 and headed back toward Springfield. It took us a while longer than I had estimated because a thunderstorm also decided it wanted to go to Springfield. We made it back to ’the beach’ about 2:30, I think, and I crashed pretty hard. Had to get up at 7am to get ready for church. I’m now ready for a three-day nap or something.

Check out the pictures below!

2005-05-22T19:46:00.000-05:00

My new guitar... aaahhhh.....

2005-05-22T19:45:00.000-05:00

Hawaiian Koa wood is the most beautiful wood in the whole world... :)

2005-05-22T19:44:00.000-05:00

This is the greatest place ever... good food, good jazz. Me and Strode always hung out here because we knew we wouldn't see anyone from the Bible college here.

2005-05-22T19:43:00.000-05:00

Andy, Samantha and Ricki as we passe them on the way home... notice Andy intensely concentrating on THE ROAD.

Fun With Statues!

2005-05-22T19:38:00.000-05:00

Gimmie Five, My Main Man!

2005-05-22T19:37:00.000-05:00

Hatts off to Maggie!

2005-05-22T19:36:00.000-05:00

A hug makes the day so much better!

In the Land of the Skunks, the Man With No Nose is KING! MUAAHAHAHAHA!

2005-05-20T13:33:00.000-05:00

Woke up this morning, a rainbow filled the sky!
Yes, I woky up this morning, a rainbow filled the sky!
That was God tellin' me, everythings gonna be alright.

Actually, it was raining when I woke up this morning, and I have yet to see any rainbows, but it's been a good day regardless. I actually woke up before the alarm went off so I took my time getting ready, listened to some Donavon Frankenreiter, caught a few minutes of Regis & Kelly and decided that Regis is a cotton headed ninny-muggins who would have no hope of success in showbusiness if it weren't for his flitatious blonde arm candy (whoever she may be this season). Then I took my Starbucks Double-Shot Espresso and sauntered out to the 'stang and rolled to work. Ran some errands (including ordering our hoodies for CIY), went to lunch, came back to the office and actually got everything on my 'to do' list scratched off (well, to be honest, some of the things aren't exactly "done", but I scratched them off anyway just to make myself feel productive). Now I'm kickin back with a Coke&Lime, filling up the old blogaroo listening to the new Dave Matthews Band CD... which is a relief after their last few disasters (direct results of selling out).
Welp, I'm out like trout. Revolution.

Corporate Sponsorship? It's Worth a Try!

2005-05-19T10:38:00.000-05:00

So the other afternoon I was sitting in John Luzadders office trying to explain why I wanted a Taylor guitar. He asked me how much they cost, then commented, "Well, what do we have to do to get you one for free?" At first I laughed, but the more I thought about it I decided that even though it seems improbable, it isn't outside the realm of possibility (unless I just don't ask), especially with Taylor's recent rampage of donations to promote the new T5. I checked into it and ended up sending a letter of application to the Taylor Guitars Department of Sponsorships and Donations. I explained to them my situation, the fact that I work with students and tried to convince them that it would be a benefit to us both if I were playing a Taylor guitar... the letter had me convinced anyway! I should hear back from them in 4 to 6 weeks, after the application has been processed and reviewed... laugh if you want to, it may be a long shot but nothing can happen if you don't at least ask.

***UPDATE***

Although Taylor is the best guitar on earth, I've decided that any guitar would be better than what I'm rockin' now, so the list of corporations I've written to now includes C.F. Martin & Co., Kaman Music Corp. (Ovation, Takamine, etc.), Gibson and Fender... Surely someone will be willing to pick me up... ya think? I saw a TV show where these two guys paid their way through college on corporate sponsorships from everyone from Nike to Chevy! They got free clothes, cars, money, all just for endorsing products to their friends... I figure I've got at least a chance...

I'm a Cotton Headed Ninny-Muggins!

2005-05-17T11:37:00.000-05:00

Two down, one to go in my calendar of marathon weekends. I havn't posted since last wednesday because that's how long it's been since I've had two minutes to sit down and relax... Last Thursday I drove to Quincy to meet Kristi and on Friday we went to CCCB for graduation. Congrats to Amber, Ricki, Nate, Anastasia, Samantha, Echo, and anyone else I know that graduated! Now comes the part where you move away from all your friends, find a job to pay the rent and start wishing you could go back and take just one more Reese class... trust me, it will happen.
At any rate, we did the whole graduation thing. It was really great to see all my old friends again! Casey & Molly, Jesse & Julie, Scott & Sara, Nate & Anastasia were all there with their little people, Caleb flew back from Nashville, I saw my good friend Sara, Strode came down, The Roddas, The Tuttles, The Hunts... just about everyone... After all the graduation parties friday night Kristi and I drove back to Quincy only to get up and drive to Columbia Saturday morning to meet everyon mentioned above for lunch at Chili's. We gave the Chili's people a heart attack when we said we needed a table for 30, but they came through for us! We hung out in the parking lot for about two hours, but then we got seated and I got my ribbs and the world was good again. After lunch Kristi and I made it back to quincy and opted not to return to Springfield but just crash there since it was late and we were tired of driving. We went and got ice cream and milkshakes and sat home and watched the movie 'Elf', which is one of the greatest movies EVER. Then Sunday morning I got up and drove back to Chatham in time for music practice at 8:30 and Kristi went the other direction to Macon to visit her friend Trisha then back to Des Moines. Church went alright, but I don't really remember much because I was wasted on crack-cocain (just checking if anyone anctually reads this stuff). I went back to my apartment (or as we'll call it from now on, "The Beach") and slept for about an hour before I had to get up and get ready for our 'we love jesus' party. I was so tired my hands were literally shaking as I was trying to get stuff ready to go! We had a cookout and then projected 'National Treasuer' up on the side of a barn and sat in the yard to watch it... Paul said it got down to 45 degrees that night, but it felt like about 12. I stumbled back into my apartm.. I mean, The Beach about midnight. Yesterday I spent a good portion of the afternoon at West Side and then at CCC for praise team practice... I guess we practiced, but I couldn't get the sound system to work the way I wanted it to...
Anyway, I'm back in the office today, enjoying NOT driving before this weekend when Nate and I are heading to the Guitar Center in St. Louis on Friday and Ricky, Samantha and I hit Murry's on Saturday night, then I high-tail it back to Chatham for church on Sunday.... I'm really looking forwars to our trip to Florida in a couple weeks, the only problem is that it's a 22 hour drive... I just can't get a break from this whole driving thing... we need to get on it and invent transporters like on Star Trek so i don't have to drive so stinkin much!
ANYway, I've got a bajillion things to get done and writing on my blog isn't even on the list. Peace.

5:45 and I'm still in the office....

2005-05-11T17:47:00.000-05:00

I'm working late today because I went home for lunch and fell asleep on the floor in front of the TV. It was so hot today I woke up sweating and felt like my chest was about to explode. I dunked my head in the sink, changed my shirt and drug myself back to the church to finish up everything I had been in the middle of. Now I'm sitting here, ready to go home, but not wanting to leave my nice air conditioned office... I'm hearing thunder though, so maybe it'll cool off soon and I can go home. I don't really have anything important to say, so I'll just list all the random thoughts floating arouond in my head.
- I really like Shawn McDonalds ablum "Simply Nothing".
- I want a bagel with strawberry cream cheese.
- Only three weeks untill I head for the sun and sand of beautiful Sarasota, Florida!
- Only five weeks untill I head for the beautiful mountains of Colorado!
- I wrote three songs this week, but two of them still need music... I guess that's what I'll do tonight.
- I need to find a sofa for my apartment.
- It's hot.
- I think I'm all out of IBC Rootbeer AND Orange Crush in a bottle. :(
- Ben & Jerrys Phish Food sounds really good right now.
- I need to feed my turtle.
- I think I just figured out one of Shawn McDonalds songs...
- I wish it would rain!
- I have a headache.
- This weather is screwing up the strings on my guitar!
- Sweet! in IS raining!
- The only good thing about Illinois is the rain.
- Tomorrow I get to see Kristi!
- Friday I'll be back @ CCCB for graduation.
- I'm gonna go home now.

Off The Map with Ryan Green

Better Late Than Never

It's been a Long December but there's reason to believe maybe next year will be better than the last...

Not So Missing As Everyone Thought...

Floors

So many miles behind and still I drive with the pedal down...

The Fear of Wood and Steel

My Weekend at a Glance

Velvet Elvis...hmmm

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Green Screen

Won't You Help Me Sing These Songs of Freedom?

Aaahhhh... weekends.

The race is long... and in the end it's only with yourself.

It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!

It's not every day you see a donut break in half in mid-air like that... ...but lord knows I have....

Now Playing - Jars of Clay: Much Afraid

Shwing Shwong Ping Pong Jesus Ate My Toast

Three Chears for Bono!

Is God faithful or am I crazy?

Weekend Update

Creativity: The Bane of My Existance

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey.

Pray

Life, The Universe, and Everything

Musical Randomness

Secular Mango Worship

Unemployed Youth/Worship Minister Seeks Ministry... Have Guitar, Will Travel.

Man, I'm gonna mis that place....

Oh My Darling Clementine....

Moving again...

The Seperation of State and Blogs

George Bush Doesn't Care About White People!

Comments & CIY Pictures

Straight out' the trailor.

Home

Distraction....

I May Have Created A Monster...

PVC Ballistics: Fun For the Whole Family!

Hey Terrorists!

MUSTANG FOR SALE

...as promised.

*****Prayer Request*****

Thoughts About Life

Unemployment: Day Three

Happy Birthday to ME!

Some Questions Have No Answers

SOMEONE HELP!!!!

Don't Be Friendly, Be a Friend

The Muscular Cyborg German Dudes Dance With Sexy French Canadians

If I wasn't a Christian I'd Be a User...

From The Desk of Ryan Green

Victor Wooten Rocked.....the sidewalk?

I am outstanding in my field... but all I can see is corn.

NBC Loses 50 Billion Cool Points

BUY A 3DU CD TODAY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I'm Bakin' Like a Toasted Cheese!

Victor Wooten In Springfield!!!

I'm Tired of Being Busy All the Time.

Dag Nabit!

Free Internet for the World!

Who Invited Arlene?

A Picture Share!

Greetings From Florida!

A Picture Share!

A Picture Share!

A Picture Share!

A Picture Share!

In My Head This Week

...and then Meg painted her mouse blue...

My Drepression Has Left Me Bleeding Music

Today is Eric Stelk Day!

Depression = Creativity

What Do Crab Legs, Guitars and Green Pepper Rings have in common? Yesterday.

Fun With Statues!

In the Land of the Skunks, the Man With No Nose is KING! MUAAHAHAHAHA!

Corporate Sponsorship? It's Worth a Try!

I'm a Cotton Headed Ninny-Muggins!

5:45 and I'm still in the office....

Prayer Request